


Constellation Daydreams

by ChocolatStar



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Action & Romance, Awkward Crush, Awkward Flirting, Broken Toys, Colourful language, Drama & Romance, Episode Three, Episode Two, Ericson's Boarding School For Troubled Youth, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Kissing on top of the tower, Raiders, Some Humor, Suffer The Children - Freeform, TellTale's The Walking Dead, The Final Season, awkward beginnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-02-29 14:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18780004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolatStar/pseuds/ChocolatStar
Summary: “Seriously though, who are you horn-dogging? Come on, Vi, I wanna know! There should be no secrets between us.”Violet’s head snapped up in surprise. Louis had turned to look at her; his immortal and increasingly infuriating smile still intact.“Wait. I think I might know,” he continued, teasingly.“Whatever,” she countered, but didn’t make a move to continue down the ladder.“Um hmm,” Louis mumbled, taking a few steps over to her. “Let me think. Whose cute and cool and recently come to our school? – Hey, that rhymes! Ha. ….But seriously, who is it? They might have recently been in a car crash maybe. Has a kid who bites. ….Oh, I know -”Violet hadn't meant to like Clementine. In fact, she had tried very hard not to. But feelings, it seemed, were stupid, disobedient things, and now Violet found that she not only liked Clementine, but she thought there was a very real, slightly terrifying possibility that she might even like-like her, as Louis would say. So with all these new feelings and with raiders threatening to bash down their gates, what the hell was Violet going to do?Violetine. Set between Episode two and three of The Final Season. Violet's POV.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s note: Hi there everyone. I’m new to the TellTale (RIP) Walking Dead fan fiction world. I’ve been playing the games for years, but The Final Season just really inspired me – I haven’t cared so much about characters that weren’t Clementine since the classic Season One days.  
> Just to give some context: This story starts just before the raiders show up at the school and will continue along from that point. I quite strictly follow the story-beats and dialogue of the game, but also deviate from time to time too (like in this chapter)  
> Also, it’s Violetine.  
> Also also, it’s told from Violet’s point of view – so it’s pretty sweary in places ;)  
> Hope you enjoy. Any constructive criticism would be massively appreciated. – Thank you :)

Constellation Daydreams 

Chapter One 

Violet stood looking out from the front guard tower of Ericson’s Boarding School for Troubled Youth; or at least that’s what the school had been called, back when the world had been normal. Nowadays, for the kids surviving within its walls, it was mainly known as ‘home.’  
It was sometime before the sunrise of a new day.  
She couldn’t be sure exactly what day it was, or even what month it was. She’d given up counting the days some time ago and mainly marked the months through their varying seasons. At the moment everything was still green, but there had been a definite nip invading the air these past few nights, so she figured the warm months might be on the turn. 

Violet paced, looking out into the darkened land and shaking out limbs that were steadily growing stiff. She had on an over-sized, thick-ish coat that came down passed her knees that had once belonged to one of the male teachers of the boarding school. It was her go-to night-time guard duty coat and did a respectable job of keeping out the chill of the clear night. 

Picking up the bow she’d rested against the wooden rails of the tower, she wiped down the string with her coat sleeve; not wanting it to get wet with dew; and pulled it back a bit. Her fingers ached slightly being thrown into sudden action, but she stubbornly persevered until the bow was bent to full draw. Violet smiled, satisfied, and gently relaxed her draw. She decided to keep hold of the bow and absently patted the coat’s long pockets to double check that the arrow she’d placed in there hadn’t disappeared. There was a bucket containing a whole load more arrows in the corner of the tower. 

She’d been on look-out for about two hours, give or take. Louis was meant to relieve her soon, but Violet wasn’t going to hold her breath on that score and potentially die from all the asphyxiation. Louis was unreliable at the best of times, but early-morning guard duty seemed to make him particularly absent.

Violet sighed and looked through the binoculars that hung from her neck for something to do.

Nothing. The world was just dark and still.

It had been just under two weeks since Clem had first announced that a raiding party would be coming to bash down their gates and attempt to take everyone at the school prisoner. 

Two long, strained weeks. 

At first everyone was all rushing action – writing signs, fortifying walls, making traps – now, everything was ready, except for the raiders it seemed, who were just point-blank refusing to turn up in any kind of polite timely manner. 

It made Violet feel constantly anxious. Maybe that was the raiders plan; drive them all insane with nerves and then rock up with a huge fucking child-snatching net to finish the job.

Tenn had asked her the previous evening if she thought that Minnie and Sophie might be among the raiders. She’d told him truthfully that she didn’t know, but couldn’t deny the thought hadn’t plagued her own mind recently too.  
Violet honestly wasn’t sure what would be better. On the one hand, if the raiders did bring them, then maybe that would be the best chance to get them back. But on the other, it had been a whole year since they’d last seen them. What if, somehow, the raiders had managed to turn Minnie and Sophie against them in that time? What if the sisters even came armed with guns, ready to kidnap their old school friends?

Violet shuddered, despite her coat.

There’s no way they’d do that, she told herself forcefully. She couldn’t think that way.

Ever since finding out from that bastard, Marlon, that Minnie and Sophie could still be alive; Violet’s mind had been churning. 

Her knee-jerk desire had been to stage an attack – to go and find the raiders camp and bring the twins back. But, in the unlikely event that they even survived against an army of adults with guns, and they actually did manage to succeed in bringing Minnie and Sophie back home; they still had no idea where to even begin looking for the raiders’ camp. The woods in the area stretched on for miles and miles. It was impossible. 

But she detested doing nothing while there was still a chance that her friends could still be alive. 

Violet tormented herself by imagining the sisters waiting for the first few weeks of their capture; hopeful for any sign of a rescue party on the horizon; and then, as each month went by with nothing, them slowly losing all hope. 

Violet sighed. She had been so sure that Minnie was dead. She’d mourned her for a year…and now, with this news of her possible survival; as if Minnie had somehow been resurrected; Violet didn’t know how to deal with that.

She wondered if Minnie did come home, what things would be like between them. Would Minnie want them to go back to how they’d been before? Together, as a couple?

Violet’s fingers twisted around the bow arm as she contemplated this. 

The truth was she wasn’t sure how she’d feel if Minnie did return; ecstatic of course…but then, what after that?

With a familiar gnawing guilt, and as she so often did recently, Clementine swept into her mind. 

Clementine thoughts were dangerous territory.

Violet had become aware that she might actually maybe like Clementine. 

Maybe quite a lot. 

And that thought made her feel like a cheating bitch. 

Minnie could still be alive and here she was thinking about the new cute girl that had crashed – quite literally – into their lives.  
But it was a bit more than that. It wasn’t because Clem happened to be the only available, pretty girl around; Violet appreciated Clem’s fire and self-belief. She was strong and smart, and didn’t let anyone push her around. 

Violet found those traits really attractive…plus, the fact that Clementine was also physically really attractive didn’t hurt either.

She wondered sometimes what Clem thought about her. 

Violet, admittedly, hadn’t made the best first impression when they’d met. She’d been pretty rude to Clementine actually.

It had been a defence mechanism, she knew that. 

Violet hadn’t fancied getting chummy with any new people and potentially running the risk of actually coming to care about them. 

Because caring about people brought pain. It was an inevitable consequence. 

She’d often felt the need to escape the school and go and find a nice cave somewhere to live out her days in complete isolation. That way, Violet could stop worrying. 

Everyone alive was going to one day die obviously, but in this changed world it wasn’t just a question of when anymore; there were suddenly the new horrific questions of ‘how violently?’ and ‘would you become a walker?’ 

It was a bad world to have a heart in. 

But feelings were stupid, untameable things and Violet had discovered that she not only liked Clementine, but really liked her. 

Violet thought that Clementine genuinely liked her too, but perhaps just not in the way that Violet liked Clementine.

There was no proof either way on that score. Thanks to Louis’s probing in the ‘getting to know you’ card game they’d all played on Clem and AJ’s first night at the school, and which had been specifically invented so that Louis could hit on Clem (Violet was sure) Violet knew that Clementine had never had a boyfriend. But that didn’t mean anything obviously.

It was hard. Sometimes Violet caught herself staring at Clementine; just lost in the idea of what it might be like to kiss her. Clementine would often catch her eye and Violet had to pretend that she’d just been staring off into the middle-distance and not really looking at Clementine at all. 

Minnie and her had shared many kisses before…

Violet wondered if Clem’s lips would feel different to Minnie’s. She supposed so. Thinking about that brought a warm buzz to her lower stomach. 

God, she should stop having thoughts. Thinking about Clementine while attempting to guard the school was not a good combination. 

She had to focus.

With a strong force of will, Violet stretched open her tired eyes and stared into the dark wood.  
Nothing moved between the trees, which was all the go-ahead her mind required to drift back into its thought bubble. 

Being one of only two girls that now remained in the school, and having been the only girl in that school to be in a same-sex relationship; as far as Violet knew anyway; she really didn’t have anyone to talk to about her feelings. She’d fallen in love with Minnie naturally. It had felt normal.

Violet remembered way back in her childhood learning about homosexuality. Well, at least, learning the word. She’d grown up in a Christian family and therefore a lot of her childhood had been spent in and around the church. 

Her Sunday school teacher had had a huge book of Bible stories for children that she’d read from every week. One time the story of ‘Sodom and Gomorrah’ was chosen. The words of the story had sat alongside disturbingly colourful pictures of cities and people burning that had terrified Violet. 

The teacher had solemnly explained that those people were burning for the sin of homosexuality. One child had asked what the word meant and the teacher had replied that they’d be told properly when they were older, but to know that it was a terribly evil thing. 

Violet, like probably all the kids there, had taken that to heart; they didn’t know what the word meant exactly, but they knew that whatever it was, it was an awful sin that deserved a horrible death.

Of course, the years had done their work and now Violet understood – she was that awful sin, apparently. A homosexual.

Violet shook her head angrily. Words were stupid.

Violet had never thought of herself as gay; she’d never thought of herself as anything really. She was just a girl who’d fallen in love with another girl, and it had been beautiful and loving. 

So fuck her old Sunday school teacher who had called it sin. Violet had abandoned that part of her life the moment the world had gone to shit anyway, which incidentally, hadn’t been long after her parents had abandoned her at the boarding school.

When people started coming back from the dead to kill the living, she knew that there could be no God. 

It had all tuned out to be a load of crap.

So, she’d had a relationship with Minnie and now she was attracted to Clem – well, if you wanted to title it, she guessed that made her gay then. Not that she’d ever had a fair shake of the heterosexual stick, she had to admit. 

The only guys she’d been around were the ones she grew up with and the idea of getting with any of them made her feel like last nights rabbit stew might make a second appearance. 

Never say never, she supposed, but Violet was fairly confident that ladies were her thing, and that idea had never worried her. Nor had it seemed to bother any of the others, which was great; but Violet would still love the opportunity to talk to someone who understood about all this girl/girl relationship stuff. She still had questions that she hadn’t quite figured out yet.

She’d kissed Minnie, sure, and that had felt natural….but they’d never gone any further than that. Violet knew about sex obviously, but no one could talk to her about girl sex. 

She smirked at herself for thinking the thoughts; but she wanted to know about it. She got the gist, but were there specific techniques that were employed?

Absent-mindedly tapping the bow arm against her thigh, she considered. 

She’d managed to scavenge what must have been the only book about a lesbian relationship from the school library some years before when she’d first realised that she had feelings for Minnie. The feelings hadn’t scared her, not really; they’d just been surprising.  
She had wanted to make sense of all these new emotions that had suddenly crept up on her, and had turned to teen literature for some kind of guidance. 

She’d discovered a book with two girls on the cover that had peeked her interest. ‘Annie on My Mind’ was the title. She’d stashed it in her room and Violet still secretly read it every now and then.

The only reason Violet thought it had earned a place in the strict boarding school was because it had been written way back in 1982 and was probably deemed a classic or something. It was her only glimpse into a world that was so different from her own reality and yet so similar as well. 

The two girls in the story struggled, like Violet was struggling; but for different reasons. In the story, the two girls inevitably couldn’t hold on to the happiness they’d found in each other because the people around them couldn’t accept their relationship. In Violet’s world, she too hadn’t been able to save her love. The situations were different, but in an odd kind of way, it was a small comfort to be able to relate to those girls in the book.

Violet bit her lip.

If only she’d been there with the twins that day…

She sighed. ‘If only’ the world hadn’t taken a nose dive into hell. ‘If onlys’ were useless.

The idea of the two girls in the story being split apart purely because of society’s views at the time had boggled Violet’s mind. She’d never suffered any prejudice or mutterings behind her back from her school friends. It seemed so weird to her that anyone else would care so much about who other people loved. 

She guessed if the world hadn’t all gone to shit, then maybe people would still have enough free time to waste on concerning themselves with who other people fell in love with. Maybe she herself would have had a hard time of it, being brought up in the church as she had.

She thought back to her church-going parents and wondered what they’d think if they could see her now. 

Violet didn’t remember too much about them. Their faces in her minds-eye got fuzzier with each passing year; but the overwhelming memory of, at least, her early childhood, when everything was still good; was one of love and safety. 

As she got older, her Dad had started drinking more heavily and her Mom had spent more and more time at work as a result, but Violet remembered these amazing moments before that time, even if the details within those moments were blurred. 

She remembered her Mom wrapping her in huge hugs before bed time and her Dad taking her down to the dirt pitch area in their trailer park home to throw a ball about. 

It made her heart hurt to think that all that love might have been taken away because of who she was.

Maybe her parents would have accepted her. Who knows? They were most probably dead now, so the ‘what ifs’ really didn’t matter.

Violet had felt so lost and angry at her parents for ditching her at the boarding school.  
She’d been left alone with a group of strange kids, and teachers who mostly treated her as if she were a ‘troubled child;’ as they delicately liked to term it; even before they got to know anything about her; and who took her sullenness as rebellion rather than the defence mechanism it really had been.

Violet looked back on that time and thought what a waste of emotion it had all been. But in hindsight, being brought to the school had saved her life. When the dead began to rise, she was safe with the other kids behind sturdy walls and huge, metal gates. 

The teachers had mainly all fled, it was true, but the school had offered the kids a chance to recover from the shock of the walkers and given them the ability to observe; unmolested by the dead and living alike. 

Violet realised that she’d been driven off-track in her thought process. She’d been thinking about the book, and Minnie and the conundrum that was Clementine. 

There were some very tame love scenes in that book she’d read. As coyly-written as they were, they’d opened Violet’s eyes to the intimacy and the tenderness you could feel with someone else.

Violet had felt so close to Minnie, but they’d never made it far enough to know that particular brand of closeness. She knew that she wanted to feel that; to be so immersed in someone that everything else just melted away.

It was stupid to think, but sometimes Violet worried that she might die a virgin. It was a waste of thought, but there you go. It often concerned her.

Clementine came to mind again, followed by that same warm feeling that seemed to spread throughout her lower region. Her cheeks flushed, despite being alone.

“You fucking horn dog,” she muttered to herself.

“You talking about me?”

The sudden voice made Violet turn on her heel towards the tower’s ladder; bow coming up and arrow snatched out of her pocket and notched before she’d even had time to think about what she was doing.

Upon finding Louis grinning at her sheepishly, Violet lowered her weapon.

“Christ Louis!” She snarled. “Haven’t you learnt yet not to sneak up on people who are fucking armed?! I could have shot you!”

Louis, nonplussed; as was his usual state of being; continued to grin. “But Vi, aren’t we all armed at the end of the day?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows and proceeding to wave his arms about him like some weird, humanoid jellyfish.

Violet rolled her eyes, irritated. Louis had a habit of irritating her. “You’re an idiot.”

Walking up to him, Violet forcibly pushed the bow into his chest. He put a hand around it and she held out her arrow, which he also took.

“But at least you’re a sort of on-time idiot,” she said with more softness. “I’m gonna catch some zs before breakfast.”

Violet walked past him and had started to descend the ladder, when she heard Louis ask, “Seriously though, who are you horn-dogging? Come on, Vi, I wanna know! There should be no secrets between us.”

Violet’s head snapped up in surprise. Louis had turned to look at her; his immortal and increasingly infuriating smile still intact. 

“Wait. I think I might know,” he continued, teasingly.

“Whatever,” she countered, but didn’t make a move to continue down the ladder.

“Um hmm,” Louis mumbled, taking a few steps over to her. “Let me think. Whose cute and cool and recently come to our school? – Hey, that rhymes! Ha. ….But seriously, who is it? They might have recently been in a car crash maybe. Has a kid who bites. ….Oh, I know -”

“Can it, Louis,” Violet growled.

Louis held up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m just saying Vi, that despite my best efforts, sweet Clementine doesn’t seem to be feeling my charms -”

“That is shocking,” Violet deadpanned. 

“I know!” cried Louis, pointedly ignoring Violet’s sarcasm. “But c’est la vie. If the lady doth not want to hang with your buddy Louis here, then well, maybe you got a shot, Vi.”

Violet snorted in derision.

“Despite what everyone thinks of me, I’m not into chasing girls who aren’t interested – and it’s pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that Clem, sad as it is, isn’t interested. Not in me at least. Not in that way.” Louis said this a little wistfully, but then shrugged. “So you never know. …And it would be really nice to see you happy again,” he added, quietly. 

Violet rewarded this comment with a rare genuine smile. 

She was reminded that Louis really did have his big heart in the right place most of the time.  
She looked down at her feet balanced on the ladder rungs, so that she didn’t need to meet Louis’s eyes. “Yeah…I…hmm. Might…”

Violet shut her mouth. Voicing her feelings was hard, even with knowing Louis now for what felt like forever. There was quiet for a moment and then –

“You just use that awesome Violet charm and see what happens. …You know, that aloof, snarky, bordering-on-aggressive thing you do so well.” Louis said, giving Violet a wink to take the sting out of his well-meant words.

Violet put her middle finger up at him in silent response and finally started to move down the ladder. 

Her head had just dipped below the guard tower platform when she heard Louis shout jovially after her, “That’s the one!”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violet decided she’d stop into the kitchen for a drink before getting some sleep. They kept a ready-to-go store of boiled rain and river water in plastic bottles. 

As she neared the kitchen, she was surprised to see a dim light radiating from its open door. She walked to the doorway to find AJ in there; a candle sitting on the side countertop next to him.

“Hey, morning little man,” Violet greeted. “I gotta admit, I didn’t think I’d have a fight on my hands for the kitchen at this kind of hour.”

“Clem had a nightmare,” AJ explained, meeting her eyes. He gestured to the coffee container in his hands. “They said before that I could have some – I – I’m not stealing it.”

Violet smiled. “No, it’s okay AJ. Of course you can have some. It sounds like Clem might need it.”

AJ nodded importantly. “She does! I know after a nightmare sometimes a hot drink can help… and I want to help Clem. She’s always getting the nightmares.”

Violet frowned. “Is she? That’s – bad.” She was going to say ‘shit,’ but censored herself.

“They’re all about…before. Before we came here.”

Violet nodded. Everyone had bad memories now. “Well,” she said, smiling again. “You’re really cool for looking after her, AJ. I bet Clem feels really lucky that she has you.”

“Yeah well, I’ll always protect Clem,” AJ told her; eyes huge with sincerity.

“Oh, I know,” Violet replied, attempting to keep a serious expression on her face. The kid was just too damn cute sometimes.

A vision of Marlon crashing to the ground with a bloody, ragged hole in his forehead flashed without warning into Violet’s mind. AJ had thought that he was protecting Clem then too; protecting them all. 

She pushed the image aside. Her thoughts on Marlon were conflicted and not something to deal with on an early morning without enough sleep.

“See you, Violet,” AJ said; breaking Violet from her morbid flashback. “I better go get this to Clem.”

Minutes later; glass of water in hand; Violet was making her way to her room. She had to pass AJ and Clem’s room on route, and hovered by their closed door for a moment. She could hear AJ and Clem quietly talking inside and wondered if she should knock and pop her head around the door to offer Clem some comfort. 

Would that seem weird?

As Violet debated this with herself, she listened to the room’s inhabitants. They were so at ease with each other; a self-made family in a world full of broken homes. 

Violet began to feel awkward standing there; like an outsider looking in. If anyone saw her there they’d rightfully want to know what she was doing. 

She had no right to barge in on Clem and AJ’s cosy morning together. That wasn’t her world. 

With a regretful sigh, Violet walked on. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: Hey everybody! 
> 
> Wow! What an amazing response to the first chapter! A huge thank you to everyone that wrote a review and left kudos!!! – All your words are so kind and appreciated. I’m really, really glad that you guys enjoyed it. 
> 
> As you can see, here's Chapter Two. I hope that grammatically it all makes sense. I looked over it and over it until I felt like my head might explode ;) so I hope it's all good.
> 
> Please let me know what you think about it and thank you again. I hope you all enjoy. It’s a bit of a long one, this one!

Constellation Daydreams

Chapter Two

 

Eighteen-year-old Violet was standing in her old childhood room in her trailer home, which didn’t perturb her in the slightest. 

She looked about, noticing her child-sized single bed with its slightly grubby, pastel-yellow sheets rumbled, as if they’d been thrown back carelessly on the mattress instead of lightly-placed and smoothed out as her mother had told her to do a thousand times over.  
There were crayon drawings stuck on the walls and a small chest; badly made out of chipboard; that held her few clothes, sitting on the non-carpeted floor.  
A plastic laundry basket, broken on one side, had found a new use as a storage container for some toys and a couple of beaten-up looking jigsaws.  
Bibi, her raggedy stuffed bear, sat, askew, on her poorly-made up bed. His head, overly-big for his body, lolled to the side as if in confusion or question.

What are you doing here?

Violet smiled at him without answer and then headed for her bedroom door. She opened it, feeling its familiar flimsiness; so much lighter and unsubstantial compared to Ericson’s solid wood doors; and stepped out into the tiny hallway of the trailer.  
A door she knew led to the bathroom, stood on her right. She didn’t need that.  
Instead she turned left, passed her parents bedroom door and out into the living room come kitchen. 

Her mother was stood by the kitchen sink. She turned as Violet approached. 

“Hey sweetie,” she greeted. “Sleep well?” 

Violet nodded, taking in her mother’s features; her hair, light blonde in colour, just like Violet’s own, came down just passed her shoulders and had streaks of grey woven about within it; her eyes were green and had the ability to sparkle like twin emeralds given the right situation; the little creases around those eyes caused by her smile and, more often, her frowns; but then Violet’s brow furrowed; those few things, the hair, eyes, crinkles – they stood out, but as she stared, all other features her mother possessed remained stubbornly blurry.

Violet strained to see clearly; feeling suddenly desperate with the need and taking a step closer; but her mother’s face stayed strangely unfocused. 

“Be quiet now,” her mother suddenly snapped from her weird, smeared face. “You don’t want to wake your father.” 

Violet turned her head to look back down the hall. Grumbling, loud snores reverberated back at her. 

“Why do you stay with him?” she asked, looking back to her mother. 

Her mother; who was now walking to the fold-up table in the centre of the two rooms with plates in her hands; paused, and tilted her head towards Violet, as if not understanding the question. Her eyes turned down at the corners in obvious disapproval.  
“What a thing to say!” she chastised. “I stay because he’s my husband of course, and I’m his wife, and a wife needs her husband.” 

Violet shook her head in incomprehension. “But he just drinks and sleeps.” 

Her mother had begun laying the table. “You don’t just leave when things get hard, Violet. Death do us part, remember? He knows what’s best.” She nodded her head a little, as if convincing herself. “He does, he does.”

Violet didn’t know whether ‘He’ meant her father or God, but either way it was a load of crap. She would have argued more, but then her mother said, “Your friend’s outside, by the way.” 

“What friend?” 

Violet glanced out of the trailer windows, but they just presented an impenetrable wall of white. 

“You know,” her mother said. 

“Okay, then I better go,” Violet replied and turned oddly slowly towards the main door. 

“Don’t be too long, we’ll need to leave for Ericson soon,” her mother chirruped brightly. 

Violet’s gaze snapped to her. She was suddenly consumed with a terrible, heavy dread. It flooded into every little bit of her. 

“I don’t want to go,” Violet whined, lip trembling; and suddenly she was eleven and scared, holding herself with her arms. 

Her mother shook her head gravely. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but you have to go. You’re broken – unwell in the head, you see. They’ll know how to deal with you there.” 

An echo of the creak of an old rocking chair came from somewhere behind Violet and she turned sharply, eighteen again, but found nothing. 

“Now then,” her mother said briskly, reclaiming Violet’s attention. “Go and see your friend and don’t do anything sinful. I’ll be here, praying for your eternal soul.” 

“Thanks a bunch,” Violet mumbled and eventually managed to leave the trailer after taking many more steps than seemed possible for such a short stride to the door. 

She stepped straight into Ericson’s main yard, and found Minnie, kneeling in the dirt and wrapped up tightly in metal chains. A faceless man stood over Minnie, pressing a rifle to the side of her head. 

“You sure didn’t waste any time!” She spat viciously at Violet. 

Violet recoiled, feeling the words hit her like venom. Inky tendrils of guilt slid around her heart and squeezed. She stumbled around in her brain for something to say to make everything better, but all that weakly crawled from her throat was, “Minnie, I didn’t -”

And then something interrupted her. Or rather, someone. Clementine was sitting at a picnic table in the centre of the yard, waving to her. 

Wordlessly, Violet walked past the helpless Minnie and over to Clementine, who smiled up at Violet as she approached. 

“Hey,” greeted Clementine. “Uh, what’s going on with Minnie?” 

Violet looked back and saw that Minnie had been brought to her feet and was being forced-walked to the gates of the school by the rifleman. Violet watched them go; licking at lips that were suddenly very dry. 

“Going away I guess,” said Violet quietly. 

She looked back to Clem, who shrugged. “Yeah, guess so.” 

Violet sat down next to Clementine; their backs to Minnie and her plight. 

“Where’s AJ?” Violet asked. 

One half of Clementine’s mouth pulled up into a cute, lopsided smirk that had something of parental pride about it. “Oh, he’s just off playing with his guns. You know how he likes them. He’s got to get in some good practice before the raiders come.” 

“He’s good with the head shots,” Violet complimented. 

Clementine nodded. “That’s what he’ll need. Head shot after head shot against those bastards.” She pointed her fingers like two handguns and pretended to shoot. “Pop, pop, pop.” 

Violet stared at Clementine’s fingers and felt suddenly cold. “I’m scared, Clem,” she admitted. “Really fucking scared about them coming.” 

Clementine rested an elbow on the table and let her head drop into her hand. Violet watched as Clementine’s eyes seemed to rove over her; from her boots, slowly back up to her face. They landed there and they shared a long, intent look. It made Violet feel like Clementine was looking right into her soul; her very self. “You haven’t got anything to be scared of, Vi. I’m here. I’ll protect you.”

Violet nodded. She looked down at her lap and at her hands clasped there. She felt Clementine’s earnest gaze lingering on her. “It makes me feel better to know that,” Violet whispered. 

When she looked up, Clementine was much closer to her; inches from her face in fact. Violet didn’t move; stilled by the sudden hunger she saw in Clementine’s hazel eyes. Violet’s breath caught. It was deathly silent, as if she and Clementine had been thrown into a completely separate reality from everything else. 

They sat like that; suspended in heightened expectation. Violet thought her heart might burst if she didn’t breathe soon. She watched, transfixed, as Clementine’s eyelids fluttered closed, head tilted and she leaned forwards to close the agonising gap between them. 

Violet moved forward too, ready to meet Clementine and finally satisfy the craving that seemed to pulse within her every fibre –

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violet’s eyes shot open. Her vision fuzzed and she felt momentarily disorientated as fantasy spiralled back into reality. The world around her shifted back into focus, and she realised that the object looming above her was the underside of the top bunk of her bed in Ericson. 

Right, her real life in Ericson - where Clementine wasn’t willingly kissing her. 

Violet’s heart was jack-knifing about in her chest and she was sweating. She pulled off her bed sheet and then lay still again, allowing her breathing to find some sense of normalcy. Daylight had invaded her room since she’d gone to bed. 

She didn’t move, just blinked slowly upwards. 

After many moments, Violet blew out a long breath and muttered, “Well, okay then.” 

That dream would sure be a lot to mentally unpack. Those people who used to get paid for listening to other people’s problems would have had a field day if she’d come to them with that. What had Louis called them again? Shrinks? Yeah, that was the name. 

And what would her shrink have told her? That she had parental abandonment issues? Sure, no surprise there – pick out a child in Ericson who didn’t. 

That she felt a constant, gnawing guilt about abandoning Minnie? 

And; to just compound point two; that she had a massive, irrevocable, inconvenient crush on the new girl. And, not only was she day-fantasizing about their lips smooching together, but now she was subconscious-fantasizing too. 

Perfect. 

Violet ran a weary hand down her face and knew she was totally absolutely screwed. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violet managed to stumble from bed and out into the yard – the real yard this time, probably.  
She’d laid awake for a good twenty minutes or so just thinking. It was highly unusual for Violet to linger in bed once she was awake. She wasn’t the laze-in sort, particularly recently, when there was so much to make ready – but that dream had floored her. 

Thoughts of it continued to restlessly bash around her mind as she made her way towards Omar and his cooking fire; driven by the smells of breakfast. 

She hadn’t dreamt of her parents in years. It had been weird to see her Mom again, well, sort of her Mom. Her dream Mom, anyway. 

And the awful imagery of Minnie, bound and threatened with a gun, and she, herself, just strolling off and leaving her to her fate, made Violet’s skin tremble. 

And then, there’d been Clementine and her protective, soothing words…and her lips…

“Oh, morning Vi,” Omar greeted. 

Violet started. She’d made it over to Omar faster than she’d realised. She stared at him dumbly, apparently forgetting how words were made. 

Omar peered at her; his usually neutral features sharpening slightly in concern. “You okay?” 

Violet shook her head lightly. “Yes, God, yes – sorry,” she blurted. 

Omar gave her a sceptical look, but carried on chatting anyway. “Okay, well – I saved you a fish.” He gestured to the fire next to them, and sure enough, there was a fish speared through a stick, hanging above the flames. Its skin had wrinkled up and looked deliciously crispy and was just the right side of browned. 

Violet could have drooled she was so hungry. She flashed Omar a grateful smile. “Thanks, it smells incredible.” 

Omar smirked. Extracting the fish from the stick and sliding it onto a waiting plate, he murmured in his trademark soft voice, “The smell is one thing, but food is all about the eating.” 

Violet took the proffered plate and shrugged a little. “Well, it’s all good to me. Thanks, Omar.” 

“Sure,” Omar said. “There’s hot water for coffee too.” 

Coffee and fish in hand, Violet headed over to the picnic tables. All the others were there, except Ruby, who was probably on guard duty. She spotted Louis, AJ and Clementine on one table together and hesitated. 

With the White Knight(ess,) Dream Clem, still being fresh in Violet’s mind, Violet wondered if she should sit at another table and avoid the high possibility of her cheeks spontaneously bursting into flame if she accidentally met Clementine’s eye. 

Unfortunately for Violet, her indecision cost her, when Louis noticed her dithering and called over to her with huge, waving arms and an annoying grin. 

She glared at him, attempting to transmit through some sort of best friend telepathy that he should instantly stop what he was doing and allow her to quietly slink off to another table. 

Louis quirked his head at her, looking confused - and then proceeded to yell a few hundred decibels louder than he had before. 

“Over here, Vi! Viiiiii!” 

Violet rolled her eyes and groaned quietly. By this point, pretty much everyone was looking at her, including Clementine; so of course, her cheeks were perfectly fluorescent as she reluctantly walked over to Louis. 

She placed her coffee mug and plate down on the table as casually as she could manage and tried to sit next to Louis with an air of nonchalance; as if that awkward moment with the standing and Louis yelling hadn’t just happened. 

“What was that all about?” Louis asked in a distinctly non-nonchalant way. 

Violet almost winced. She gave him a look like he was insane. “What?” 

Louis narrowed his eyes at her. Violet could almost see the cogs turning. Finally, he threw up his arms. “Eh, whatever.”

Clementine gave her a little half-grin from across the table that was so similar to Dream Clem’s, Violet’s face instantly coloured again and she dropped her head down as if intent on devouring her fish. 

Louis yawned noisily and stretched up his arms like a big cat. “Aw man, early-morning guard duty is the worst!” 

Violet was busily stripping off bits of fish flesh with her fingers and popping them into her mouth. “Better than having the raiders snatch you in the night,” she mumbled around a mouthful. 

Louis propped his head up in his hand. “Yeah sure,” he allowed. “But I’ll be a useless Louis all day now.”

Violet shot him a sidelong look of mock-disbelief. “Right,” she drawled. “So, totally different from normal then.” 

Clementine laughed and Violet couldn’t help but look over at her to catch the way her face lit up with the amusement; the way her eyes shone; the little crinkles around her upturned lips… 

Violet blinked and shot her gaze back down to her food again. What was wrong with her? She was fucking obsessed. 

Louis, meanwhile, had a hand placed over his heart as if he’d been physically punched. He looked between Violet and Clementine with his mouth slightly agape.

“Ooouch. Mean girls! I’ll have you know that I’m a vital part of the team, thank you very much. Someone needs to keep the smiles going on all the rest of you miseries, after all.” 

Violet snorted, while Clementine offered Louis an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, you’re right – God knows we could do with the smiles.” 

“I think you’re funny, Louis,” AJ piped up. “Like, super funny.” 

“See!” Louis announced, gesturing to AJ. “This guy knows a vital team member when he sees one. Thanks, little dude.” 

Louis held up his palm across the table and AJ, scrambling to stand on the bench seat, slapped it with his own and gave a little giggle. 

“High-five!” he cried with delight. “Yeah! Now you do it, Clem!” 

Clementine smiled indulgently at AJ and high-fived his little, outstretched hand. 

“High-fives are the coolest!” AJ enthused. “Why doesn’t everyone say hello like that?” 

“The world would definitely be a cooler place if we did, little man,” agreed Louis. 

Violet had finished her fish and risked a glance around the table as she sipped from her mug. 

“You sleep okay then, Vi?” asked Louis. 

It was a perfectly innocent question, and there was no way that anyone could know what she’d dreamt of, but still, because of course she did, Violet instantly started choking on her coffee. 

She set the mug down with a shaky hand and proceeded to splutter gracelessly, all over the table. 

“Whoa, you alright?” Louis asked in alarm, while also noticeably shifting away from Violet and her flying saliva. 

It took Violet another few, painful seconds to regain sufficient control of herself, whereby she could squeeze words out through her burning throat and tearing eyes. “Yep, yeah, fine…fine.” 

“Jesus,” Louis cried. “Not to be a Mom, but remember to always sip your drinks carefully, so the people around you don’t have to wear them.” 

Violet shot him a nasty glare. Louis smirked back at her companionably and gave her a couple of half-hearted pats on the back. 

“Clem always told me that,” AJ said conversationally. “One time though, I drank my water so fast that it went down the wrong hole and I coughed so much that sick came up.” 

Clementine wrinkled her nose. “That might be over-sharing, goofball.” 

AJ looked at her questioningly, seemingly not quite understanding what had been wrong in his last comment. He folded his arms across his chest then, and said importantly, “It’s Alvin Junior.” 

Clementine smiled and ran an affectionate hand along his hair. “Sure it is.” 

Violet loved watching Clementine interact with AJ. It internally amused her that such a fierce, strong woman became soft putty whenever AJ was concerned. 

“Aw crap,” Louis groaned, bringing Violet’s attention back. He had his head turned and Violet followed his eye-line. Willy was walking over to them. 

“Eck, I told Willy that I’d help him with his signs for the raiders,” Louis explained. “Man, it’s gonna be a drag coming up with creative expletives with my brain all mushy.” 

“Can I help?” AJ asked, excitedly standing up on the seat again. 

“Erm.” Louis looked to Clementine for approval. 

“Go on then,” Clementine relented. “Just, not too-extreme expletives, okay?” she added to Louis, as he stood up. 

“You can count on me to not corrupt your kid, Clem,” Louis told her with a wink, while AJ ran around the picnic table to join him and bounce around his legs. 

“To the signs!” Louis cried. “Hey, if the words put together out of our combined messed-up minds aren’t enough to make those raiders turn tail, I don’t know what would do it, right?” 

Violet and Clementine watched the pair greet Willy, and then all wander off to hopefully put together the words that would magically repel the raiders’ right out of their school. 

Violet’s eyes widened, realising suddenly that the boys leaving meant that she’d been left alone with Clementine. She turned back to face her nervously; went to grab her coffee mug and then thought better of it. 

Silence settled between them. 

“Um,” began Clementine, and Violet stared, readying herself. “So, you slept okay?” 

Not this again. 

Without the traitorous coffee attempting to drown her, Violet managed to assure Clementine that her sleep had been “fine thanks,’ without anything else disastrously embarrassing happening to her and with a fairly normal-coloured face too. 

“Yeah, I didn’t do so good myself last night, with the whole successful sleeping thing I mean,” Clementine admitted. “I know you know that though – AJ told me that you found him in the kitchen.” 

Now Violet did blush. Did Clementine not want people to know about her nightmares? “Oh yeah,” she managed hesitantly. “I bumped in to him after my watch. He just…told me, erm, why he was there. I hope that’s okay? That it was okay to say? I didn’t ask.” 

Violet was pretty sure she was rambling fairly incoherently at this point and shut her mouth before more gibberish could spew from it. 

“Oh God, yes, it’s fine. Don’t worry,” Clementine was quick to reassure and waved her hands about as if shooing the awkwardness away. “Pfft. Everyone has nightmares, right? It’s not a secret or anything, don’t worry.” 

Violet smiled, relieved. “Okay, good. …Well, yeah sure, I think we’ve definitely all had our share of nightmares.” 

Clementine stretched a leg out along the bench seat, so she was sitting a little more sideways to Violet. 

“Mine is…uh, I keep getting it.” She stared down at her legs for a moment and then looked back at Violet with the tiniest smile. “It’s a long story,” she volunteered to Violet’s nonexistent question. “Way too long and too horrible for breakfast conversation.” 

“Well, erm,” Violet paused, internally cheerleading herself into further speech. “If you ever, you know, want to share it…I get you may not want to, but uh…if you want to, you know, then I’m here and shit.” 

Oh, that had been fucking eloquent alright. 

Violet felt her traitorous cheeks light up like Rudolph’s big, red, fucking nose. Cursing her blood vessels, she ducked her head a little in a doomed attempt to hide the obvious. 

She felt something warm touch her fingertips that lay on the table and reflectively, jerked her hand away. She looked back up in time to see Clementine’s embarrassed blush and her awkwardly moving her hand back to her lap. 

Violet didn’t understand what exactly had just happened, but, too late, she realised that she’d made a terrible mistake. 

“Oh,” she blurted. “Sorry, I -”

“No, it’s okay!” Clementine cut-in quickly, speaking over Violet’s apologies. They were both blushing madly now. “No, I just, I just wanted to say that that’s really kind of you, Vi. What you said. …I really appreciate that.” 

“Yeah sure, that’s okay.” Violet rushed out the words, and then there was silence. 

They both looked down at the table. Everything felt painfully awkward in that moment. 

“I’m sorry,” Violet tried again. “About, with the hand just now…I didn’t know. That’s okay…you can…” 

Oh good Christ, what the fuck was she talking about? 

Clementine looked sharply at her, alarmed. “No, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have…I just, I didn’t think…” 

Violet bit her lip. Well, incredibly awkward conversation slash misunderstanding over what could have just been a perfectly friendly gesture with crush – tick! 

“Weeeeellll,” Clementine said after a moment of palpable uneasiness. She swung her legs back under the picnic table and stood up. “I think I’ve embarrassed myself more than enough for one morning, so I think I’ll run away now.” 

“You don’t have to!” Violet blurted, the desperation in her voice was so clear that Violet was sure she could actually see it floating about in the air between them. 

Clementine regarded her with slightly widened eyes; an obvious reaction to the unnatural panic in Violet’s voice; and Violet wished at that moment for any kind of distraction; she’d take anything going - or perhaps the ground could just open up under her and swallow her down - that would be great. Because choking on rocks and dirt would be eons better than sitting there enduring Clementine’s incredulous stare. 

“No, it’s okay,” Clementine said predictably. She smiled a little, tight smile. “I better get on with things anyway.” 

Violet waved a hand in a pretend uncaring way. “Yeah sure, of course.” 

Clementine nodded and stepped out from the seat. “See you, then,” she said. 

Violet tried out a somewhat successful smile. Go her. “Yeah, see you.” 

Clementine walked off and, after she was sure Clementine was properly gone, Violet dropped her head onto the table with a light thud. 

It was at times like these that she particularly loathed herself. 

So, just to take stock, Clementine, it appeared, had tried to initiate some kind of hand holding or hand touching gesture, in maybe just a friendly way, but who cares, the bottom line is that there would have been skin on skin – and then, she, Violet, destroyer of her own life, had pulled her hand away like it was on fire, and succeeded in making Clementine feel all embarrassed and making the whole incident a way bigger deal than it had to be. 

Yep, that was about it. 

Alienate your crush and make her feel bad for initiating contact – tick! 

“Fuuuucccckkkkk,” Violet groaned quietly into the wooden table top. 

Louis was right, she certainly had a charm all her own. Now, if she could only figure out how to get rid of it. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days after all that horrendous embarrassment and misunderstanding, Violet found herself outside the main admin building, shouting at Louis. Again. 

She’d politely asked him if he could possibly help her board up the back hallway of the admin building; they didn’t want to hand the raiders the ability to flank them, after all, right? He’d replied, to her extreme irritation, that he had other non-specific stuff he needed to be doing instead.

“What stuff?”

“Nothing. It’s just…it’s important,” came his vague response.

Violet was nearing the precipice of her anger. Any minute now and she’d just tip right over into full-on rage.

“God damn it Louis,” she growled. “Take this seriously for once in your life!”

“I’ve been taking this seriously for fucking days!” he countered snippily. “Almost two weeks!”

That was it. Violet was over the drop. Her hands clenched together so tightly that they began to shake at her sides. Louis had taken the mere, tiny, non-issue of their very fucking survival seriously for two weeks straight – well, well fucking done to Louis – give the man a fucking cookie.

“So has everyone!” She shouted into his face. “Get over yourself!”

He gave her a deeply wounded look and turned to walk down the steps of the admin building without another word. Violet watched him leave, hands still furiously balled; fuming and saddened all at once. 

She was struggling so much with everything and all she had wanted was Louis’s help; his support. Why had that been too much to ask? 

Violet’s eyes followed Louis’s progress across the yard and, with a jolt, she noticed Clementine standing there. Violet walked straight over to her, as if directed by a string. They hadn’t mentioned The Great Hand Incident of two days ago; and that was more than fine with Violet. The less they spoke of her inadequacies functioning as a normal, non-awkward human being, the better. 

“Hey,” she greeted, trying to ignore the way her stomach flipped as she neared Clementine.

“I thought Lilly and Abel would show up days ago,” Clementine said, in lieu of a greeting. “I wonder why they’re holding off.”

Clementine’s voice sounded strained and tired; just like her own did, Violet would wager.

“Don’t know,” Violet replied, with a sigh. She crossed her arms tight around her. “All I wanted was more time to prepare, but now this waiting sucks and everyone’s on edge.”

“Need my help?” Clementine offered.

Her words were like finding water in a sea of sand. It was just what Violet needed – some support. Thank God for Clem. She was her rock in this fucking messy storm.

Violet let her arms drop; her body unbending just a little. “Yeah, actually. Could you check on everyone and make sure they’re doing shit right?”

“Sure, I’m on it,” Clementine replied easily.

It felt to Violet in that moment, like Clementine was the only other person she could truly rely on. The burden on her shoulders had felt so huge recently. It felt like she had to keep asking things of everyone; like no one else had any initiative to just get on with the shit that needed doing. Violet didn’t want to be the leader or whatever the fuck you’d call it, but that seemed to be the way things were turning out. 

“Thanks Clem,” Violet said. The relief rolled out with her words like a wave. They were comrades in arms, she and her. That’s how it felt. Them against the world. “I should go board up the back hallway, since Louis isn’t gonna do it.”

She spat this last; still deeply upset with Louis for letting her down.

Turning, Violet walked off back towards the admin steps. She experienced a strange, inconceivable feeling that Clementine’s eyes were on her as she trotted up them, but Violet knew that had to be wishful thinking on her part. Clearly, she wanted so much for Clementine to stare after her in pure, undiluted longing, that she was just entirely fabricating feelings now. Rolling her eyes at herself, she pushed through the doors and down to the back hallway.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violet couldn’t believe Louis’s behaviour. Wasn’t he meant to be her best friend? Couldn’t he see that she desperately needed help? Violet wanted to rely on him, but the stupid idiot made it impossible sometimes.

She shook her head. It was time to hammer. She couldn’t worry about Louis right now.

Planks of wood scavenged from other parts of the school were stacked neatly on the floor, with a hammer and a material bag of nails next to them. The hallway wasn’t too much of a weak point; it had a few windows stretching along its length and a single door at its end.

Violet decided to start at the door, and hammered in her first board across it. It was, in these quiet times, when she was alone, that her mind whirled. She forcibly told herself not to think about the raiders and the fact that they might just kidnap them all and force them into a war that they’d surely never have a hope of surviving. 

That thought terrified her. 

Next, she tried not to think about Clementine; who made her feel happy, guilty, scared and aroused all at the same time – which was a difficult mix of emotions to process. 

Instead, Violet settled her whizzing brain on visualising the school’s defences and if they were missing anything.

The basic rhythm of hammering – pick up board; hammer in nails; bang, bang, bang, bang; pick up next board - was soothing, and Violet found that she was finished in no time. She nodded to herself at a job well done. 

“Nailed it,” she murmured, one side of her lips tugging up into a self-satisfied half-smirk. 

This rare stab at silly humour from Violet was sadly lost in the void of the silent hallway, destined never to be heard and appreciated by her fellow peers. 

She headed back to the yard.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violet’s eyes sought and found Clementine almost instantly as she stepped outside. She was over with Louis, who appeared to be practising with the bow. 

Is that what Louis had wanted to do that was so important? Violet shrugged to herself; at least training with weapons was somewhat useful. Not that Louis was any good with a bow, mind you. 

Whatever. 

She just hoped that he wasn’t firing too many of their precious arrows over the damned walls.

Violet watched with curiosity as Louis handed Clementine the bow, and then quickly found her admiration for her secret crush grow as Clementine proceeded to fire arrow after arrow directly into the target.  
She was incredibly impressive, there was no denying that. 

Violet’s stomach did a little, funny flip again and she felt colour blossom in her cheeks.

She noticed Clementine turn to make her way over to her. Violet lowered herself down onto the admin steps; appearing as nonchalant as she possibly could and attempting to hide the fact that she was watching every single step Clementine was taking from the corner of her eye.

Secretly, she prayed that her face wasn’t too obviously red. If it was, and Clementine commented on it, then Violet could just feign exertion from hammering in all those boards. Fool proof. 

As soon as Clementine was near enough, Violet said, “Back hallways secure. How is everyone?” She allowed Clementine time to ease herself down next to her, before adding, “Okay? Or, you know…a total fucking mess?”

Violet watched Clementine’s face as she clearly struggled for an answer, and felt herself sag. Clementine didn’t have to say it – the hard fact was that the upcoming fight was a bunch of kids with sticks, facing adults with guns. It was a dismal outlook to say the least.

“They’re ready for this,” Clementine said unexpectedly, and with so much confidence that Violet almost believed her. She wanted so much to believe her.

“Really?” Violet asked. She’d play along in this lie. What other choice was there?

“Really,” Clementine pressed. Her expression was hard; determined. Maybe she really did believe in what she was saying. “The school is defended, and everyone’s eager to get the fight over with.”

Violet smiled and nodded in reply. It was sweet of Clementine to try and reassure her at least, despite the scepticism Violet herself felt about Clementine’s conclusion of the kids’ readiness. She was right in one way though – the school defences themselves were as ready as they would ever be. 

All that was left was to fight.

The front doors of the admin building suddenly slammed open. Both girls turned sharply to see Willy and Aasim. Evidently, they were mid-argument.

“Cause’ you’re boring and your idea is stupid!” shouted Willy.

“Oh, I’m being stupid?” snapped back Aasim. “You’re the one who can’t think straight. If you could hear yourself -”

“Guys! What the fuck?” Violet cut-in loudly; jumping to her feet.

Louis; presumably hearing the commotion; had ambled his way over to the screaming group. Willy, averting his eyes from Violet’s maddened glare, turned instead to Louis for support.  
“Violet told us to work on the traps together, but Aasim won’t listen to anything I say!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to scream at each other,” Louis suggested calmly.

“Stay out of this,” Aasim interjected sharply, and, turning back to Violet and Clementine, he explained, “I have an idea for duffel bags filled with bricks. We drop them on the raiders, if they get to the admin building. Willy here wants to use a giant, idiotic swinging log to take out one raider at most. It’s completely stupid.” He said the last with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“You’re stupid!” snapped Willy, who seemed to be turning more beetroot by the second.

“You’re being childish!” retorted Aasim harshly.

“I am not! I’m trying to help!”

“So help! And stop arguing!” 

Violet’s head was pounding. It appeared that everything and everyone around her was crumbling, despite her best efforts. Keeping the school going was like trying to hold up toppling ruins with her bare hands.

“Aasim is right,” she heard Clementine say authoritatively. Violet’s grateful gaze turned to her. “We should use his brick trap. It sounds more practical.”

“Mine’s practical too!” Willy argued with a distinct whine.

“No, it isn’t,” Aasim snarled nastily. “It’s exactly the kind of thing a child would think up. Especially a child who has no idea what he’s up against.”

No one had time to react as Willy smashed his fist into Aasim’s groin. Aasim let out a horribly painful-sounding, guttural cry and folded in half.

“What the shit?!” cried Violet.

Willy, eyes huge, and looking about him like a terrified rabbit, rushed back through the admin doors.

Louis stepped forward towards Aasim. An expression of sympathy that could only come from another man etched his face. “Dude, you okay?”

Aasim, who had recovered enough to be only slightly bent over in agony, and with a hand still firmly pressed against his most-fragile of areas, replied in a wheezy kind of voice. “Yeah, fine,” and then instantly contradicted that lie, with a sharply spoken, “shit!” 

He stalked angrily away from them, muttering.

“Christ,” Violet said softly, watching Aasim flee. “We’ll all kill each other before the raiders even get a fucking chance.”

She felt at sea again. She honestly didn’t know if she was strong enough to hold these crumbling ruins together.

“Right,” said Louis firmly. “What we need is something to break the tension.”

He turned and wandered after the retreating Aasim; Violet and Clementine following after. 

Aasim was very gingerly lowering himself onto one of the two sofas that made up their ‘chill zone’ at one end of the admin building, when they caught up to him.

“Hey buddy,” cooed Louis, “how’s it hanging?”

An unfortunate turn of phrase, thought Violet.

“Dude, fuck off,” replied Aasim.

Violet smirked. Poor Aasim and his sore manhood.

Louis; never to be put off by obvious signs of not being wanted; chose not to follow Aasim’s suggestion, and instead flumped down on the sofa next to him.

“Sulking in the corner isn’t gonna help us fight off the raiders,” Louis soothed. “Or turn that frown upside down.”

“You get more annoying everyday,” Aasim muttered.

Violet smiled again, agreeing wholly with Aasim’s assessment and plonked herself down on the sofa just across from where the two boys sat. She noticed with disappointment that Clementine had chosen to seat herself in the middle of the two sofas, on a chair. Violet frowned and tried not to think about what that might mean. Louis was rattling on about making everyone feel better.

“And that plan is a game,” he concluded, pulling out a deck of cards from his coat pocket and displaying them like they were the answer to everything.

Violet would rather he have produced a fully-loaded machine gun from that magical pocket of his – or perhaps an army of friendly, war-trained panthers; but conceded that cards would at least be a distraction to everyone’s overloaded minds.

She suddenly realised just how late it was getting. The sun was starting its descent and casting long shadows across the yard. With a groan, Violet pulled herself up off the sofa and began to light, with a match, the few wooden, cloth-wrapped torches that had been driven into the ground around the sofa area. 

“We haven’t played a game in weeks,” she said, stooping to light the big log fire in the centre. Fresh wood, kindling and dried grass had been stacked on it that morning and it easily flared to life with a satisfying whoosh. “Since that night with Marlon.”

Referring to that night felt wrong. Violet’s eyes flickered towards Louis as she reclaimed her sofa seat. She really shouldn’t have mentioned Marlon. But, to her relief, Louis appeared to be too busy teasing Aasim to have heard properly.

“I mean, if you wanna go ask Ruby to come play,” he was saying. “I don’t mind waiting.”

“Shut up, dude! I swear to God.” Aasim had gone awfully red.

“You’ve got a crush on Ruby?” Violet asked with interest, but Aasim chose not to answer and instead, ducked his head away from Violet’s questioning gaze.

“What are we playing?” AJ asked, appearing like a shadow, by the steadily-strengthening fire, with Tenn at his side.

Louis grinned at their arrival. “Truth or Dare!” he announced dramatically.

Violet rolled her eyes. She realised that she did this quite a lot around Louis and vaguely worried that she might one day contract some sort of eye strain caused by over-rolling them. “You don’t use cards in Truth or Dare.”

“You do in this version,” Louis countered gleefully. “Everyone draws. Highest card gets to ask. Lowest card has to answer.” 

He picked out a card and then passed the pack to Clementine. AJ sat on the ground next to Clementine, whilst Tenn sat up on Violet’s sofa with her. She smiled at him and then accepted the pack from AJ. She pulled out a card, passed the pack to Tenn and then turned it with a flourish. The ace of hearts. She looked about. Clementine, looking nervous, was holding an unfortunate three of diamonds. Violet smirked.

“Oh, this should be good,” she teased. “Let’s see…”

Violet realised with a thrill of sudden power, that this was her chance to ask anything of Clementine. For instance, “Clem, on a scale of one to ten, one being horrified and ten being the thing you’ve fantasised about since first meeting me, how would you feel about kissing me right now?”

Yeah, maybe not. That thought did give her an idea though.

“Truth. Marry-Fuck-Kill -”

“Vi,” protested Tenn.

“Fine,” sighed Violet, scowling. Tenn didn’t like swearing, which was unfortunate for him seeing how much he was around Violet on a daily basis. “Marry-Flip-Kill. …Ruby, Aasim, or…James, that guy who saved you.”

For obvious reasons, Violet wasn’t going to throw her own name in the mix, but she thought that she’d include Ruby’s instead…just to see.

“Oh my God,” Clementine groaned.

“You gotta answer,” reminded Louis with relish. He was obviously already really enjoying this. “Them’s the rules.”

“Mm. Let’s see. I would marry…” Clementine took a moment to consider, before deciding, “Ruby.”

Violet’s ears perked up. So Clem would be up for marrying a girl. She nodded to herself; that was positive.

“Watch out, Aasim, she’s totally going to swoop in and ruin your dream,” Louis joked, playfully punching Aasim on the leg.

“You got to admit, Clem’s a way better catch than you,” Violet said smoothly. She studiously ignored Clementine’s eyes as she said this, and just hoped that she didn’t sound like a fanatical idiot, and that she wasn’t turning obviously red.

“I would, um, Flip-”

Louis started to chant, “Flip, flip, flip, flip…” and AJ, amusingly, joined in, “Flip, flip, flip, flip!”

Violet grinned at their antics. This stupid game of Louis’s seemed to be bringing out the smiles in her. With the fire keeping the worst spikes of the evening chill at bay, she felt warm and contented there on her sofa.

“James,” Clementine finally decided.

Violet frowned; her newly-formed contentment was suddenly on shaky ground. James? The forest boy? “That’s an interesting choice,” Violet mumbled flatly.

“Funny, you pronounce “horrifying” differently than I do,” Louis chipped in.

“Didn’t you say he wore skin?” asked Violet seriously. “Like, human skin?”

Clementine nodded sagely. She wore a far-away expression and a big smile that, for some reason, caused Violet’s heart to clench. Violet quickly continued speaking; jokingly wondering to the group if James would take the skin off to do the deed. Her joke fell flat though and she looked down at her tucked up knees. Maybe asking this question wasn’t such a good idea.

“So that means you’re killing…” Louis drawled.

“This is amazing,” Tenn decided happily.

“Aasim!” cried Violet distractedly, and with somewhat forced cheeriness.

“Oh, thank God,” Aasim breathed.

“What?!” laughed Louis disbelievingly. “You’d rather die than marry or flip Clem?”

“I, uh, n-no! I didn’t mean it like that!” Aasim stumbled in protest.

Clementine rolled her eyes good-naturedly at his stuttering denial. 

“This is great,” said Louis. “We’re laughing, we’re bonding. It’s a nice break from thinking about homicidal assholes sneaking into our homes to kidnap us.”

“Not if you bring it up,” Violet retorted sarcastically.

Louis didn’t even miss a beat. “On to round two!” 

Round two saw Clementine the winner of the cards and Aasim the loser. She dared him to ask Ruby for a kiss. Very reluctantly, he got up, walked over to Ruby and began speaking quietly to her. The whole group watched them expectantly; intrigued into silence – and then, Ruby slapped poor Aasim across the face. 

It appeared that Aasim just couldn’t stop getting hit that day. 

Dejectedly, he slumped back to the sofas and to the uproarious accompaniment of howling laughter from his friends. His cheek glowed rosy against the firelight where Ruby’s palm had connected.

“Oh, I can’t breathe!” Louis gasped, as Aasim thumped down on the sofa next to him.

Violet shot Aasim a sympathetic smile. He’d been brave to put himself out there like that. It wasn’t like she was being honest with her feelings, after all.

“Well, I think we all learned something about our good friend Aasim today,” Louis began, having laughed himself out. “Mainly, that he has no romantic charm whatsoever.”

“Shut up,” Aasim snapped despondently.

Louis took no notice and just continued on in his usual Louis way. “Look sharp, y’all, it’s time for round three!”

The cards came round again. This time Louis was deemed the winner – Clementine, his unlucky victim.

He regarded her thoughtfully, and then, with a grin, announced, “I’ve got it. …We’ve been pretty hard on poor Aasim here, teasing him about sweet Ruby. Seems only fair we mercilessly tease someone else about unrequited love.”  
He looked at Clementine mischievously and Violet’s heart sped up at his next words.  
“So, Clem,” he continued. “Anyone here you like-like?”

“Seriously? Like-like? What are you, six?” Violet heard herself say; clearly unable to miss a chance to mock Louis; even with her mind being suddenly thrown into overdrive.

“Seven, thank you,” Louis returned eloquently, though she barely heard him. All Violet could hear; all she could see; was Clementine preparing to answer.

“Yeah,” Clementine admitted. “I’ve definitely got feelings for someone.”

Violet sat up a little straighter.

“Oh ho!” Louis cried. “Who is it?”

His eyes flickered to Violet’s knowingly.

Clementine gave a little laugh. “Nope. Not telling.”

Violet tried to subtly study Clementine as she said this; watching to see if she caught anyone’s eye or inclined her head in anyone’s particular direction; but Clementine’s gaze didn’t drift for even a moment and before Violet could gleam anything from Clementine’s body language, Louis was handing around the cards again.

She accepted the pack from AJ and sighed inwardly, trying to calm her racing heart. It doesn’t mean anything, she told herself. This doesn’t mean it’s you.

“Aasim! You’ve got the high card,” Louis announced, snapping Violet back to the present. She hadn’t even looked at her card. “And the loser is…Tennessee.”

Violet concentrated very hard on listening to Aasim as he asked Tenn to talk about something that he’d never told anyone before, and continued to focus intently on Tenn as he answered. She wouldn’t think about what just happened.

“I, um… I think… I think walkers won’t always be around,” Tenn began tentatively. “They’ll go away, someday. ‘Cause the world goes in cycles, right? Ice Age, Stone Age, um, some other ages. So it’s like that. This age’ll end, and another one will start.”

“An age without walkers,” Clementine summarised solemnly. “Like it used to be.”

“It’ll be better,” Tenn assured.

There was a contemplative silence. Violet thought about a life beyond simply surviving day to day. She could barely picture it. That kind of life just didn’t seem real to her anymore.  
Tenn was looking concerned. “Why’s everyone looking at me like that?” he asked. “Did I ruin the game?”

“That’s…really beautiful. I never thought of it that way,” Clementine said; quick to reassure. She smiled at Tenn, and then everyone smiled. 

It was a beautiful thought; no matter how unlikely.

“What’s wrong, AJ?” Tenn suddenly asked, looking past Violet.

Violet turned her head to see that AJ, far from smiling along with the others, was frowning at the ground.

“I… I just don’t know what it’s like,” AJ explained, haltingly. “All of you do, but I don’t. I don’t remember a time before monsters.”

“You know what, little dude?” said Louis, who was leaning against the arm of his sofa. “It’s okay that you don’t. Believe me, the world before this one was pretty shitty.”

That made AJ beam with reassurance, and Violet watched as Clementine shot Louis a grateful smile of her own, which he duly returned. Violet felt a weird stab of jealously at their little moment.

“And that feels like a good place to call it,” Louis decreed.

Aasim shot up out of his seat and stalked off to the main admin building without a word. The game made to ‘cheer him up’ had turned out to be a bit of a trial for him, so Violet understood him wanting to get out of there as soon as humanly possible…at least before Louis could come up with any other horrific ways of ‘making him feel better.’

Tenn also got up and wandered away - Violet hoped in the direction of his bed; it was getting to the late side of the evening. She’d check on him later, she decided. 

“We should finish up our work, anyway. It’s getting dark,” Violet announced and noticed that Ruby was approaching them; her vibrant red hair appearing from the darkening night like a beacon. “You’re on lookout?” Violet asked her.

“Yep,” Ruby confirmed. “Clementine’s got it after me.” 

“Can I come?” asked AJ.

Ruby smiled indulgently; yet another victim of AJ’s cuteness. Violet knew she wouldn’t deny him much. “Of course you can, little guy.”

AJ looked to Clementine for permission and she nodded him away. AJ scrambled to his feet; all excitement and enthusiasm; and skipped off after Ruby. 

Meanwhile, Aasim had found Willy; apparently waiting for him; on the admin steps. The three remaining around the fire watched as Willy apologised for hitting Aasim, and Aasim generously accepting the apology, reassuring Willy that it had been a “pretty good punch.”

Violet, Clementine and Louis all shared amused smirks as the two boys entered through the admin doors together, chattering about the potentially best places to find big rocks. At least that was all settled. One crisis in the ranks averted. 

Violet got to her feet with a weary sigh. “I’m headed to the bell tower,” she told Louis and Clementine. “I want to check out our defences on the back wall before bed.”

“Do you need help?” Clementine asked breezily.

Violet’s head snapped round to her. Her brain was starting to reel again. Words. Must. Form. Words. “Sure, if you want,” she answered, in such a spectacularly equally breezy manner, that had she had an award she would have bestowed it upon herself for the category, ‘Best Nonchalant Response To Your Crush Asking To Spend Time With You Ever.’ 

“You could always help me, instead,” Louis cut-in, utterly ruining her moment. Violet; side-swiped by this grievous betrayal; glared daggers at him over Clementine’s turned head; hoping that perhaps they’d become literal daggers and stop Louis from talking. 

What the fuck did he think he was doing? There he’d been, urging her to go for it with Clem, and now this sabotage? What, was he testing Clementine’s resolve for her? 

“I’m on piano duty,” he stated importantly, also standing.

Violet rolled her eyes at him; the action perfectly encapsulating her baffled anger; and started to walk off. Perhaps he was trying to help her, in his own, completely unhelpful Louis way. Violet couldn’t believe that he’d purposely betray her like this.  
Either way though, there would be words later between them; mainly of the extreme swearing variety – and possibly a not-so-soft punch to the head for good measure.  
God damn it, Louis. 

“What?” he questioned. “I gotta get in some practice before one of you decides to chop it into firewood. I’ve got a project I wanna try, but I need a second person.”

Violet walked off briskly, just about catching Louis’s last words and, with a very strong force of will, did not allow herself to look back. If Clementine wanted to join her, then she could catch up. 

It would be fine, Violet reassured herself. Clementine had asked her if she needed help after all. She’d wanted to join her.  
But, as moments ticked by, Violet’s heart began to sink. Clementine had gone with Louis, she knew it. She was stupid to think of it going any other way. Louis was, well, right now, to her, he was the most infuriating man on the planet; which actually meant something considering how few men might be left in the world; but he was also not just a bunch of fun, but funny with it. He was a laugh to be around, and what girl in their right mind wouldn’t pick that over her passive-aggressive, sarcastic self any day. 

But then she heard jogging footsteps. Violet couldn’t believe they could be real. She turned, and was completely bewildered to find Clementine running to catch up.

Violet couldn’t quite help the dumb grin that filled her face. She could barely quell her inner elation. Focusing incredibly hard on keeping her cool, Violet continued to walk normally; as if Clementine choosing to spend time with her was no big thing. 

Clementine dropped into a walk next to her, and Violet had to hide a secret little smile as she took note of how perfectly their strides matched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued really soon…. Please leave a review if you’d like. I really appreciate all constructive criticism :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Hey hey everybody! Aw, once again, thank you all so so much for the incredible support! Your reviews and comments mean so much to me. Thank you! Here’s chapter three. Sorry it’s taken a while. I kept going over and over this one and kept changing things – eventually, I had to say ‘that’s enough’ – so here’s the finished article. I wasn’t sure if it was too description-y. I know sometimes I can get completely lost in my description, and sometimes my over-eagerness in describing every single feeling a character has ;) can get in the way of the flow of the dialogue. I know I do this, so please, let me know what you think :) I hope you enjoy: 
> 
> Anyway, on with the show!

Constellation Daydreams

Chapter Three 

 

The bell tower was possibly the oldest part of Ericson. Located at the back of the main administrative building and towering above everything else, it was an awe-inspiring sight, even in its current sad, somewhat-decrepit state. 

Violet loved the tower. Its walls may be crumbling and vast tendrils of creeping ivy had practically encased it – but still, it remained Violet’s favourite part of the school. 

She took the lead and held the wooden entrance door open for Clementine. Violet watched as Clementine curiously scanned the room; her eyes sticking on the great, old, metal bell that had fallen from the top of the tower a couple of years before.  
No one had been there to witness its final descent; Violet had just arrived one evening to find it laying there. The wooden beams that had supported it for so many years had evidently had enough, and the bell had plummeted; bringing its many tons of weight smashing down with such force that the stone floor had cracked beneath it on impact.  
It was huge; almost the height of Violet herself; and beautifully inlaid with various intricate patterns. 

It had made Violet incredibly sad at the time, to see her beloved tower falling apart. She had imagined that she was like that poor bell – desperate to sit up high and be gone from the concerns of those on the ground, but finding yourself powerlessly stuck, earth-bound and helpless, anyway.

Violet moved past the bell, offering it secret, silent commiserations, and walked up to the few wooden steps remaining to the building.

“So, we’re checking the walls?” Clementine asked. 

“Yup,” Violet replied. “From up there. That’s the best view.”

She watched Clementine crane her neck right back, staring all the way up to the spire. Her eyes grew wide.

Violet smirked.

She knew that Clementine was probably wondering how the hell they were going to reach the top to check. The wooden staircase had been broken since before Violet had arrived at the school. There had always been talk by the Headmaster that they’d have the old stairs replaced one day; so that the tower would finally be accessible for everyone again, as it once had been; but of course, then the walkers had happened and the poor old tower had never been given its promised restoration. 

It hadn’t mattered, not for Violet anyway. The tower had been strictly out-of-bounds to all the kids boarding at Ericson’s, due to its disrepair; but, curious about the building; Violet had disregarded the rules one day and gone into it anyway. Upon entering, she’d pretty much instantly decided that she needed to see what was at the top – and the only way to get up there had been to climb the walls. A pretty stupid and reckless endeavour; but Violet hadn’t had much to lose back in those days.  
Precarious hand-hold by precarious hand-hold, she’d found a climbable route. 

“You ready for a climb?” Violet asked; standing at the top of the steps.

Clementine looked adorably concerned. 

Violet wanted to tell her to not look so worried and that she’d keep Clementine safe, but she didn’t quite have the guts to say anything like that; so instead, she turned, placed her foot on an old, metal support beam that had been secured diagonally against the stone surface of the wall, and pushed up to get a hand-hold on the beam above. She grabbed it, steadied herself and then stretched up to take hold of the next beam.  
She’d done this climb so many times before, that it was a shock when her fingers grasped nothing more substantial than air. With a flash of hot panic, Violet felt her foot slip. She thought she’d topple for sure, but somehow; through some minor miracle; regained her balance just in the nick of time and righted herself.  
She breathed a sigh of relief into the crumbling stone. That could have gone badly. 

“Looks a little dangerous,” she heard Clementine say warily from below her.

Violet let out a dismissive little laugh. “What’s more dangerous than walkers?” she asked and, confidence quickly restored, began to climb again. “Or that death trap you called a car?” 

“Okay. Fair,” Violet heard Clementine mumble, and she grinned into the brickwork.

“C’mon, you’re not chicken, right?” Violet teased.

Clementine laughed out a blustering ‘no,’ and Violet heard her start up the wall.  
Violet knew that Clementine could do this. She wouldn’t have taken Clementine to the tower if she didn’t think she could handle the climb…but still, Violet prayed Clementine would take it carefully. It wouldn’t do to kill her crush by coercing her to climb a wall which she then plummeted from.

To take her mind off that cheery thought, Violet decided to talk some more. It was easy talking to the wall. “Now I’m thinking about chicken nuggets,” she said breathily, puffing a little from the climb. “Do you remember those?”

“Not really,” Clementine answered doubtfully.

“I do. We always got them on Sundays. There was no time for Grandma to cook between church and Bible study, so, fast food.”  
Violet’s stomach gurgled at her own words, and the vaguely-remembered taste of chicken from years before was suddenly on her tongue. She licked her lips, and realised that she’d just revealed a whole lot about herself without thinking.  
She was at the tower window. Carefully, Violet scrambled onto its ledge and got to her feet. 

“Damn,” she said, with feeling. “I’d give an eyeball for a chicken nugget right now.”

Bending her knees she leapt forward without hesitation. This was always the most terrifying and thrilling moment of the climb. For a second, you were completely weightless; just soaring free; hoping that you’d judged the leap right and would land safely on the wooden walkway on the other side - because anything else would see you drop from the sky like a stone. It was an intense feeling.

Violet’s feet hit the wooden planks of the suspended walkway and she wandered up the remaining last steps. She wasn’t dashed on the tower floor today then it seemed. Go her.  
She heard Clementine land heavily, but safely, behind her.

The top of the tower was incredible. Impressive white-stone, columned arches sat solidly in a square and supported the pointed stone steeple in which the bell had originally hung. Made up of the same white-stone, a small pillared wall lined the top of the building. Violet leant on the wall and breathed in the tepid night air.  
She looked down at the school grounds, watching as the tiny fire lights flickered about in the breeze. It was so quiet up there. Everything down on the ground seemed insubstantial. Violet wished she could stay up there forever.

Her eyes strayed to the side as she watched Clementine join her; watched as she too leant her hands casually against the wall; watched as the moon’s rays bathed her and seemed to somehow make Clementine appear even more beautiful. 

Violet tried to continue to breathe normally.

“Barbed wire, traps, weapons. It’s everything we planned,” Clementine said, crossing her arms and staring out into the yard.

“You made it happen,” Violet commented quickly. “We couldn’t have done it without you.” She looked to Clementine and they shared a smile. Violet’s heart fluttered madly, like a bird trapped in a cage. 

“I’m glad I could show you this place,” Violet continued. “I uh…” She glanced down at her feet, feeling suddenly nervous. “I thought that maybe Louis’s offer might have been too hard to resist, you know?” She tried to say the words in a jokey kind of manner; as if Clementine’s choice wouldn’t have bothered her either way. 

Clementine smirked. “Well yeah - a personal piano session with the master? Obviously I was tempted.”

They both laughed. 

“No, I promised my time to you first,” Clementine insisted. 

Violet nodded. Okay, she’d take that. It wasn’t the best reason to come up there with her, but it wasn’t the worst. 

“Plus,” Clementine uttered quietly. “Um.” She stopped talking; dropped her eyes. She looked out into the night again, took a breath and then looked almost shyly back at Violet from under the brim of her baseball cap. “The view’s much prettier up here anyway.”  
Clementine offered Violet an uncertain kind of smile. Their eyes locked, and, feeling instantly flustered, Violet snapped her gaze away to look out over the school yard again. 

“Yeah,” she said, with a newly-formed tremor in her voice. “It’s really amazing up here.” 

“Yeah, it is,” Clementine agreed softly. 

Violet discreetly slid her eyes sideways and saw that Clementine had turned her gaze back to the horizon. Violet’s brain felt fuzzy. Had that been something, just then? If Violet didn’t believe herself delusional, she’d have thought for sure that Clementine had just called her pretty in a round-about-way. But had she? Had that really happened? Maybe Clementine really had just been commenting on the view.

Violet felt completely wrong-footed all of a sudden. 

Without entirely considering what it was she was doing, Violet pushed off from the wall and walked around Clementine. Her feet felt oddly wobbly, as if she was moving over jelly. “You’ve got lookout duty tonight, right?” she asked. 

“Yep, me and AJ.”

Violet nodded and then stopped walking. She took a huge breath. Her heart was galloping around in her chest. Without looking at Clementine she asked hesitantly, “Do you have time to hang out first?”

Violet stood still, staring out into the night. What the fuck was she doing? She had no idea. Her heartbeat was thumping frantically in her ears as she waited. Hours seemed to pass, as her teeth ground themselves against her bottom lip.

“Sure,” she finally heard Clementine say brightly. 

Violet released the breath she was holding. She didn’t know what was happening; if anything was even happening – but her racing pulse told her that something just might be and she couldn’t quite believe it.

Violet started out along the tower’s walkway, listening to Clementine’s footsteps behind her. Her heart swelled as she took in the huge moon that seemed so close that if she just stretched out her hand she’d be able to touch it. The stars were ablaze in the dark blue sky and the night felt strangely magical all of a sudden.

“Wow, beautiful,” Clementine breathed, stopping next to Violet.

Violet stared upwards. “Sometimes I need the quiet,” she admitted. “Just to get away for a while.”

She fell silent for a moment, turning her gaze to the ground. “Clem?” she asked. 

“Yeah?”

“I know you came back for medicine, for AJ, but after that you could’ve just left. Avoided all the bullshit with the raiders.” Violet’s next question was potentially a scary one. She took a moment. Her heart was smashing the shit out of her ribcage. “Why…didn’t you?”

When Clementine didn’t immediately answer, Violet panicked to fill the silence. 

“Sorry,” she blurted. “I know that puts you on the spot. You don’t have to answer. …We’ve all got our reasons.”

To Violet’s exhilarated terror, Clementine turned to her and said slowly, “Why would I go anywhere else if… you’re here?”

Violet’s eyes bulged. Did she hear that right? She must have looked like a deer in headlights, because she noticed Clementine frown at her in concern. Quickly, Violet smiled.

“I’m glad.” The words came out in a rush.

She didn’t know where to look; what to do. Violet felt like she could run a marathon and at the same time she wanted to shrink back in terror at all these new intense feelings; feelings that Clementine, amazingly, appeared to be reciprocating. 

Violet looked up again at the sky; fearing that if she looked at Clementine she might just implode.

“Do you know any constellations?” Clementine asked randomly. 

Violet blinked at her, feeling dazed. She was still reeling from the fucking incredible revelation that Clementine had chosen to stay at Ericson because of her. Violet wasn’t quite sure how to process that. She wished she knew exactly what Clementine had meant by it. Was it like ‘you’re here and you’re my buddy’ or…

Violet shook her head, realising that Clementine was gazing at her expectantly. 

“Sorry, what?” Violet blurted. She could have slapped her palm into her face at how stupid she sounded. 

Clementine let out an endearing little snicker; clearly amused. “Lost you there, huh?” 

Violet flushed. She thought she might as well, by this point, paint her cheeks permanently red, as that was apparently their consistent colour whenever Clementine did anything around her. 

“Oh, yeah…I just…” The stumbled words fell silently in to the space between them and died there. 

Clementine smiled. “Constellations,” she reminded. 

“Right,” said Violet, also smiling. “No, sorry – I’m crap at that kind of stuff. …You?” 

Clementine shrugged. “I learnt some in school, but I can’t remember them.”

Violet turned shy eyes to Clementine. “We could make some up?” she suggested. 

She could roll with this. If Clementine wanted to talk stars, then they’d talk stars. 

She walked forward to where a section of the little wall had crumbled away, leaving nothing between her and a drop off the side of the tower. 

“Come over here,” Violet invited. “You can sit down without falling to your death.”

She smirked and plonked onto the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees. They seemed to be trembling a little. Violet didn’t think that had anything to do with how high up they were. Clementine followed suit and sat next to her.

“If I remember right, everyone’s born under a special sign, right?” Violet asked. “It determines your personality.”

“That’s astrology, not astronomy,” Clementine gently corrected.

Violet shook her head dismissively. Same difference. “Whatever, let’s just make up our own. Rules, signs, what it says about you. …It’s not like anyone remembers the old way.” With no protest from Clementine, Violet barrelled on, “Okay, let’s do it.”  
She scanned the sky for a moment, before excitedly pointing, “There! See? It’s a fish.”

Clementine squinted, searching. “Where?” she asked.

Violet looked at her and smiled. “Don’t you see?” 

Apparently Clementine didn’t see. Violet gave it a moment, and then tentatively leaned sideways towards Clementine until their heads almost touched. The close proximity made Violet flush and she was thankful for the dark. She stretched out an arm, positioning her hand in Clementine’s eye-line and traced the fish pattern with her finger. “You see now?” Violet asked quietly. “There’s the tail?” 

Close as they were, Violet could hear how fast Clementine’s breathing had become. She thought it might match her own. Clementine turned her face a little, so that her nose almost brushed Violet’s cheek. Her exhalations caused individual strands of Violet’s hair to twist about gently.

“I see,” Clementine said, in an almost-whisper; so close to Violet’s ear that Violet felt the heat of it on her skin.

Violet’s own breath hitched in her throat and, panicked, she jerked back into a sitting position.

“Right, now it needs a personality,” Clementine murmured, while Violet endured a near cardiac-arrest.

Fuck, Violet’s mind was racing; resistant to be wrenched back to thoughts of star constellations. Was it just wishful thinking on Violet’s part that it seemed very much like Clementine was sort of full-on flirting with her?

“Yeah, erm, right,” she mumbled, completely distracted. “Bright, pretty, good with other people. Always moving, tons of energy. Sounds like anyone we know?”

She glanced at Clementine, who, in turn, tilted her head to the sky in thought.

“The energy one is easy,” Violet continued quietly. “Good with other people, not so much.”

She saw Clementine frown. There was a silence.

“Y’know, it…well, maybe this is weird to bring up,” Violet suddenly heard herself say, “but it reminds me of Minnie.” 

An instant, tense-feeling silence crashed in around them, as Violet’s brain caught up with her mouth far too late. She felt a kind of horror bubble up within her at her own stupidity. Why the hell had she just said that? What had possessed her? Had she even been thinking of Minnie?  
As she sat up on that roof with her new crush, Violet allowed that it was possible that a subconscious part of her had been thinking of her poor, dear, lost Minnie – the girlfriend she’d abandoned for another.

Violet gulped, feeling a sudden chill as guilt wrapped its way around her.

This had all been so perfect; Clementine had picked her company over Louis’s; the night sky was amazing and somehow, they found themselves romantically picking out star constellations together – and, far from feeling, like she had before, that she didn’t have a shot in hell with Clementine, Violet could sense something there between them that night; growing in the quiet perfection of their evening together. Yet, suddenly, Violet couldn’t shake the feeling that she was doing something wrong; that she was betraying Minnie.

She’d never brought Minnie to the tower. 

Clementine was looking anxiously down at her knees. Violet’s heart constricted. Why did it have to be so complicated?

“Let’s…keep going,” Violet suggested awkwardly, into the void of sound. She tilted her head back up to the stars to distract her brain.

She loved Minnie - but Minnie wasn’t here anymore…in fact, she might never be here again.

“I spy with my eye – a knife. See it?”

Clementine didn’t move. Violet stared at her, feeling scared. Had she ruined it? Slowly, and much to Violet’s relief, Clementine raised her head and squinted up towards the heavens; apparently still willing to play along. “Mm…” she mused. 

“Right there, right above your head.”

“Yeah, they’re all above my head,” Clementine retorted with a little laugh.

Violet smiled. This was better. 

Clementine continued to stare hard into the night’s sky. Her expression eventually relaxed and she held out a pointed finger. “I think I see,” she said hesitantly. “Just there?” Clementine traced the star silhouette with her finger and looked to Violet for confirmation.

“You got it,” Violet agreed, grinning. “Awesome. Mm, this one’s easy. Smart, clean, vicious, dependable. Someone you want with you in a fight. Doesn’t take crap from anyone. Gets shit done.”

“That’s mine, definitely,” Clementine said with easy certainty.

“Yeah, that’s a good one for you,” Violet agreed. She shook her head and sighed. “Wish everyone would’ve seen all that sooner. …Okay,” Violet continued, “one more time…I found a bird.”

“Like a real bird?” Clementine asked.

Violet grinned at her cuteness. “No,” she laughed. “A star bird…Right there.”

Clementine bit her lip in concentration, her eyes searching the night. Violet gave her a few minutes. She took in a breath and leant towards Clementine again.

“Here,” she said softly. “Let me show you.”

Before Violet had time to consider her actions, she gently took Clementine’s hand in her own, held it up against the sky and traced along the star bird’s pattern. Everything inside of Violet seemed to tingle at the contact. Clementine’s hand was so warm nestled in her own.  
Violet wanted to let Clementine know just how perfect she thought her hands were, but instead, she took the less terrifying option and said, “There. You see the bird?” Violet’s voice came out a little choked. Her throat was feeling a bit tight all of a sudden. 

Clementine smiled in delight. “I see now,” she said, continuing to look up at the inky night. “A bird made of stars,” she mused. “It’s really beautiful.”

“Yes,” agreed Violet, gazing at Clementine. “Beautiful.” 

Slowly, the pair drew back their arms and Violet reluctantly released her grip on Clementine’s hand. “A bird is free,” Violet said softly. “It could go anywhere it wanted to. Up and up and up, and never come back. Go south, east, west, doesn’t matter. You could fly straight into a sunset – and see where it ends.”

Violet felt Clementine’s eyes on her as she spoke. “You wish it was you, don’t you?” Clementine asked solemnly.

Violet sighed. “Sometimes, when it all feels so heavy down here – I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be weightless.” She shook her head; knocking herself from her thoughts. She’d been blathering on. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just…talk so much.” She glanced at Clementine and shifted herself around so that she was sitting sideways on to her. “It’s just, I’ve watched people leave before. Family, friends. They never come back.” Violet took a breath. She hadn’t planned on saying all this, but the moment felt so right and the words just kept coming. “But, you did. And, now I can’t imagine what it would be like if you…weren’t here.”

Clementine wasn’t saying anything, but her eyes had grown a little wider. 

Embarrassed, Violet sharply looked away and down at her knees – her safe, non-judgemental knees. “Ummm.” Violet pressed her eyes tightly together for a moment. What was she saying? What was she admitting? “Shit,” she swore. “That sounds so much dumber when I say it out loud.”

Violet heard Clementine suck in a breath. As she started to tentatively speak, Violet felt brave enough to look at her again.

“Um, so this might sound a little crazy. We really haven’t known each other that long, I know. But there are raiders coming, so fuck it, right? I mean, seize the moment. That thing about the carp. Um, I…think…shit.” Clementine blew out a long, shaky breath. Silence settled for a nanosecond in which Violet didn’t dare even to blink. “Okay, I’m just going to say this. Right…I, um…I…like you, Vi. And I really hope I’m not misreading things tonight, but…I think, I mean, I hope…we’re more than just friends.”  
Clementine’s admission came out in an exhalation of breath. Violet’s eyes widened, but she didn’t move, she didn’t even speak - so terrified was she to break whatever was happening.

“And,” Clementine continued, “I want…”

Violet was so focused on Clementine’s words that she found herself completely taken by surprise as Clementine suddenly leaned in towards her. Violet was frozen. All she could hear was the roar of her own frantic, leaping heart as Clementine's lips pressed against hers.  
The kiss was light; hesitant even. It was a gentle question – ‘is this okay?’ Violet wanted to let Clementine know that it was more than okay; that, in fact, kissing had her full and total approval. Violet marvelled at the feel of Clementine’s lips and how perfectly they pieced together against her own; as if they always should have been there. She thought about all the times before, when she’d imagined how it would be to kiss Clementine, and now, incredibly, here it was happening - and it was utterly amazing. 

Clementine pulled away suddenly, leaving Violet blinking in surprise.

Clementine had turned her head away and was staring resolutely forward, not meeting Violet’s eyes. She looked just as stunned as Violet felt. 

"Holy shit," Violet gasped, breaking the silent tension. 

"That's romantic," Clementine joked; eyes bravely sliding sideways to Violet. She smiled nervously.

"No, I mean - holy shit.” This time Violet’s words were softer, so that Clementine would understand her meaning. Violet was smiling massively; she couldn’t help it. Her hand hovered over Clementine’s own that was resting, palm-down, on the stone surface of the walkway. She hesitated, unsure; and then very slowly lowered her hand to rest on top of Clementine’s. 

Clementine smiled, Violet smiled - it was one big smile-fest as they stared contentedly up into the magnificent star-speckled sky again. There were so many stars that there was hardly enough room for the dark to fill in around them.

This moment was perfectly perfect. 

Violet wished that they could just freeze time and stay up on that roof forever. Up there she could forget that the world was barely surviving; that danger lurked everywhere and death was always a mere wrong step away. 

Up there, they could just be two young people, embarking on the first flickers of something that made their palms sweat and their hearts pound, but equally made them grin with the pure thrill and excitement and sheer normalness of it. 

They were just two people that liked each other, sharing their first kiss on top of a roof.

“Vi? Clem? You out here?” Ruby’s disembodied voice hollered up from below them, crushing their peaceful moment like a wrecking ball.

Violet’s heart plummeted. “Shit sticks,” she cursed, but the words did no justice at all to her severe disappointment. “Probably time for your lookout shift. …Ready?” Violet pushed out the question with an accompanying hiss of frustration. She didn’t quite look at Clementine as she said this. Ridiculous as it was, Violet thought that she might just start crying if she did.

“Yeah,” Clementine said, sounding deflated.

They both stood. Violet felt suddenly desperate for them to stay in that moment for just a bit longer. Who knew what would happen later that night or tomorrow. This could be it for them. You had to seize your moments in this world, like Clementine herself had just told her. 

All Violet wanted to do in that moment was to leap on Clementine and have a proper kiss and pray it wouldn’t be their last. 

But instead, she turned, passed Clementine, and wandered back along the walkway. She sensed Clementine follow behind her, but neither of them spoke. 

Violet had everything to say, and yet, left it all unspoken.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violet was checking the walls for possible weaknesses…or at least, she was a quarter doing that, three quarters obsessively replaying the events that had just taken place up on the bell tower. 

A part of her still couldn’t believe that it had actually happened. Clementine had kissed her. Kissed her! And it had been wonderful. But now, Violet’s feet had been firmly smashed back to earth and it was time to be serious and responsible again. 

She needed to focus; a breech in their walls could spell the end for them all. Yet her mind refused to behave.

The kiss she’d shared with Clementine kept flashing across her inner eye, which in turn, sent a thrilling little shiver throughout her body, and then she’d completely forget what it was she was meant to be doing. 

All she really wanted to do was talk to Clementine.

Violet knew she should play things cool, but she was desperate to know – what had their kiss meant to Clementine? Did it mean what Violet hoped it did? Or was their tryst merely a result of the enormous pressure they’d all been feeling over the past couple of weeks? Had Clementine done it simply because they might just all die, and what did she have to lose? 

Violet wanted to ask, but she was terrified of the answer Clementine might give. 

She looked towards the front guard tower where Clementine and AJ were holed up. If only they’d had longer alone together up on the roof.

Violet shook her head. “Get a grip,” she chided herself. 

She was about to turn back and continue to do a poor job of checking the walls, when she noticed first Clementine, then AJ, jump down from the watch tower and stride purposefully towards the centre of the yard. 

A wave of dread drenched her. 

It couldn’t be. Not now. Not when everything suddenly meant so much more. Not when she needed to explore this thing with Clementine. 

Everything felt unreal. White noise seemed to have filled her head. A horrible mix of adrenaline and pure, undiluted fear was suddenly in every part of her. It made her feel sick. She could feel the bile in her throat, ready to come up.  
Violet swallowed, and somehow managed to get her legs moving. They felt odd and slow beneath her, as if she didn’t have full control of them; as if they were as reluctant as she was to rush off to certain doom. 

Her heart was bashing around in her chest so fast, Violet was sure she was going to black out. 

She thought what a relief that would be; to have a little rest on the grass and wake up afterwards, when all the terror and horror had ended. 

They’d all prepared for this moment, she tried to tell herself – they were ready. But Violet didn’t feel ready – she felt like an eighteen-year-old girl who’d barely experienced life and yet, despite that, may shortly be taken out of it. 

Violet didn’t want to die. 

Finally, Clementine was close and she slowed. 

The short run from the wall had felt like a mile. Violet’s breathing was coming in short, sharp gasps. 

She took a moment; trying hard to compose herself; attempting to squash down all the feelings that were making her heart race as if its goal were to burst through her ribcage and be free. 

“They finally show up?” Violet managed to ask. She knew the answer; knew it. Her guts were coiling themselves into slimy knots inside of her.

Clementine’s eyes slid to her. Violet felt bizarrely like she was viewing everything through a screen. 

This couldn’t be real. 

“Yeah,” said Clementine, simply; confirming and condemning with one measly word.

Violet didn’t know what to say. There was too much she needed Clementine to know. This really could be their last moments together. Resolutely, she clenched her jaw. “Stay safe, okay?” she told Clementine, hoping that the words conveyed everything she didn’t have time to say.

Violet didn’t look back as she ran to get her bow from the picnic table she’d left it on for just this scenario. She forced herself to just focus on picking up her bow and quiver. Nothing more. Nothing beyond that moment. 

The bow, now held tightly in her clenched fist, seemed to steady her. Violet was a good shot; she could protect herself and the people she loved with that bow. Bullets were fast, but arrows flashed silently through the air like stealthy assassins.  
Violet took a breath. She was okay. She could do this. 

Turning, Violet quickly joined the huddle that had formed near the centre of the grounds. Everyone was there and ready; as if they’d all been poised in the wings, just waiting for this moment. Which in a way, they all had been. And now, here it was; the raiders were actually here. 

Everyone looked terrified. 

Violet stood next to Louis and instantly felt the tension rising from the group as if it were waves crashing against her from the ocean. Louis gave her a little comforting sideways shoulder bump. She smiled shakily at him; her grateful eyes meeting his; their earlier argument forgotten in the face of this mutual threat. 

It was going to be okay. It had to be okay.

"We’re ready,” Aasim announced for the group.

“They’ve got at least four more people, all carrying guns. And carts, probably to carry people away,” Clementine told them, without preamble.

“Oh no,” gasped Willy, at the same time Mitch muttered darkly, “Assholes.”

“I can’t believe they’re really here,” Ruby uttered quietly. Her voice trembled terribly.

“If they get inside, I’ll keep them focused on me,” Clementine continued. “That should give Willy and Mitch time to set up the bomb.”

Mitch nodded. “I’ll set it under those carts. It’ll work. I promise.” His voice was hard; not a trace of a tremor. Violet thought that perhaps Mitch was allowing his anger to override any fear he might feel.  
Violet wished she could do that. She’d give anything to be fuelled by rage then; rather than this debilitating need to run and hide. 

“If they manage to get in, we fall back,” Clementine added.

“To the admin building,” confirmed Louis.

“Exactly,” agreed Clementine. “Right into our traps!”

“They’re in for a rude fuckin’ surprise. Those duffel bags will break bones, easy,” Aasim spat, punching his fist into his palm for emphasis; the words laced with a venom that Violet hadn’t heard come from Aasim ever before. 

Clementine’s gaze swept across the nervous circle of people who would soon be forced into a warzone, and, even in that moment, where Violet was so scared she thought she might vomit; she noticed how sure Clementine’s eyes were; how strong her stance. They were all relying on her to get them through this and yet none of that pressure showed in Clementine. She was cool and in control – their courageous saviour. There was no talk of death from Clementine, because no one would be dying. 

It was intensely reassuring. 

“So, uh, any final words of wisdom?” asked Louis, anxiously. “You’ve faced them and won after all. …Well, sort of.”

“Louis, shut it,” Violet chastised, but not unkindly. She knew that Louis was just trying to bring some levity to the situation. Even now, in this unthinkable place they found themselves, Louis was trying to make it okay.

"No matter what happens," began Clementine, confidently. "Look out for -"

A tremendous crack of sound engulfed Clementine's words and before any of them really knew what was happening, Omar had crumpled to the ground with a howl of pain.  
He clamped a hand over blood now freely gushing from his leg. Violet barely had a second to register that he'd been shot, before everything was suddenly noise and panic. She noticed Clementine throw a look over her shoulder towards the tall trees that surrounded the school, and felt an icy grip on her heart as she realised - a sniper.

“Hide! Now!” Clementine ordered, and the group scattered instantly in all directions; desperately rushing for safety. Violet's every sense screamed at her to run too, but she fought it down and moved towards Omar.

"Omar!" she called to him, but Clementine was already there; gripping Omar under the armpits and dragging him towards cover.

"I've got him!" Clementine cried to her.

Violet dithered for another half-second. She wanted to help Clementine, but the thought of unseen death barrelling into her at any moment, turned Violet on her heel and made her run for her life. 

It was a shameful abandonment, despite Clementine’s urging for her to run - but Violet was just so scared. She could almost feel the hot stab of the bullet in her back that would send her spiralling to the ground, and so she began to weave as she ran; in an attempt to throw off the gunman's aim. 

The run was a short one to the low wall of the admin building, and yet, by the time Violet had reached it, and leapt behind it to safety, her breath was coming in harsh gasps and her whole body was shaking.

Louis was already knelt there; his own bow in hand and ‘Chairles’ at his feet. Violet was so relieved to see him well, that she put out a hand to give his shoulder a quick squeeze. He smiled in return, but it was the strained smile of someone petrified.

Violet could hear the raiders calling out from beyond the walls, but a woman’s voice cried louder than the others.

“Clementine?! I know you’re in there!” it chided angrily; an odd, macabre mockery of a mother scolding a hiding child. 

Violet recognised it from a couple of weeks before, in the woods. Lilly. The woman who she’d shot with her bow.  
The next sound Violet heard was the smashing of glass and the rush of flame igniting. 

The need to know what was happening overrode crippling fear for a moment, and Violet risked a peek over her wall. To her horror, she found the reinforcing wooden boards they’d hammered across the main gates completely ablaze.  
The gates themselves; clearly being smashed by something big on the other side; leapt inwards, strained against the boards holding them and settled back, before the process was repeated. 

Violet felt everything inside of her turn to liquid, as it dawned on her just how unprepared they really were.

Their two-week reprieve had been wasted. 

The raiders had brought fire and snipers – and the school’s huge, solid gates were about to crash open.

A shot rang out and Violet snapped her head back below the wall.

“Fuck,” she breathed, and cursed herself for being careless. It would be a great way to get her brains blown out.

Louis was staring at her with giant, terror-filled eyes. Her hand went to his. “I’m okay,” she reassured. 

But then, a terrible snapping crash echoed out and Violet knew, as icy crystals of fear froze her veins, that the gates; their only barrier; had given way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN!!!!! …Okay, so not really, cause’ I know that you guys know what’s going to happen next, but still – dun dun dun!!!! ;)  
> Please feel more than free to leave any feedback if you can. I appreciate every bit of constructive criticism you guys can give me. Thank you for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: Hi everybody! Thank you all for waiting so patiently for this next instalment :) Apologies that it’s taken a while.   
> Thank you so much as always to everyone who took the time to leave a review and thank you to all my readers in general - and all the kudos! Everything's so appreciated.   
> I hope you enjoy this next bit. Since we have no idea where Violet is for a lot of the battle I had to deploy the use of my stunning imagination ;) It took me a while before I was completely happy with it. Anyway – go at it fabulous people :)

Constellation Daydreams 

Chapter Four 

The footsteps of the raiders tramped along in synchrony with the hoof-beats of their horses, as the raiding party entered the school. Violet’s breathing was busy tearing through her throat like a speeding train - but it came to an instant, dead stop as she heard Clementine cry out, “Lilly!”  
This was Clementine drawing the raiders’ attention. It was an agreed part of the plan; but still, Clementine revealing herself was insanely dangerous and Violet prayed to the God she no longer believed in that Clementine would be okay.

“Move and I’ll shoot!” Violet heard Clementine warn. Her voice was a fierce promise. 

“You won’t get the chance,” a man’s voice threatened in return.

“Where’s our new recruits?” snapped Lilly.

“They’re not yours!” Clementine shouted back defiantly.

There was quiet for a moment and then, “Search the yard,” Lilly ordered brusquely.   
The command made Violet wince and sink her head lower. The small stone wall would offer little protection if a raider did happen to spot her and Louis crouching there; but in that moment, it promised Violet the same illogical safety a child might feel when hiding under their bed sheets from bedroom monsters. 

If she just hid herself well enough, she’d be fine.

Violet twisted her head to see Ruby and Aasim crouching just across from her and Louis, behind the same low wall of the admin building. They both looked as terrified as Violet felt. She offered Ruby, who was closest, a tiny, tight smile and a quick head bob. Ruby acknowledged Violet with her own grim expression that did nothing to sooth Violet’s nerves. 

“If Clementine moves, shoot her,” came the next command that snapped Violet’s attention away from Ruby and caused her blood to freeze. “We’ll find them Clementine. And then we’ll take them. And you, and your little boy,” Lilly continued to taunt.

“You might not wanna move around so much. You might trigger a trap,” Clementine commented, almost casually.

Violet smirked, despite everything. That was a clever line.

“You’re bluffing,” Lilly countered hotly, but Violet could hear the doubt that laced her bold words.

“Take another step and find out,” invited Clementine scathingly. “Or fucking leave. Can’t you read?”

“You’ve changed,” spat Lilly.

“I grew up!”

“I can see that,” Lilly agreed with disgust. “God, you are just like him. Lee would’ve been heartbroken, knowing he taught you all the wrong things. That the sweet little girl he protected turned out like this.”

Lee. Violet remembered. The friend Clementine had to shoot before he turned.

“Don’t. Don’t ever say his name,” Clementine warned in a low, furious growl.

“I knew Lee better than-”

“Ever!” roared Clementine; the molten-hot anger in that one, booming word stopped Lilly’s mockery dead. “Get out!” Clementine continued; spitting out the demand with such hatred it was almost palpable.

There was a tense, anxious silence, in which Violet had to restrain herself from peeping over the wall to see what was happening. 

“If you won’t help me find the others,” Lilly eventually said in a chillingly calm tone of voice that gave the impression that she and Clementine had just been conducting a civilised conversation about the weather, instead of threatening each other. “I’ll find someone who will. We’ve recruited from this school before.”   
“…Minnie wanted to come along tonight,” Lilly continued loudly, so that her voice echoed about the grounds. Violet stiffened in her crouched position.

“To tell you how well she’s adjusted to our life. How happy she is. She said she had a girlfriend back here. Friends she missed. One guy who could always make her laugh, no matter what.”

Violet and Louis eyed each other. It was fine. They weren’t naïve enough to fall for Lilly’s badly-concealed ruse; but still, using Minnie’s name like that made Violet forget her fear; its place filled instead with a pounding, hot fury. 

She gripped her bow tightly. 

How dare that bitch use Minnie as a lure! How dare she make Minnie the person to bait her friends into servitude.   
If Minnie were here; if Minnie were even alive; then Violet knew she’d never betray her friends like that. Never.

Violet was so tempted to leap up and let an arrow fly into Lilly’s devious fucking face; the plan be damned; but then Lilly said something that stopped that violent fantasy before it could even fully form.

“And her little brother. She missed him the most.”

Violet waited; straining to hear through the silence that followed Lilly’s sentence. She and Louis were older; they understood what Lilly was doing with bringing up Minnie like that; trying to draw them out; but Tenn was still so little and missed his sisters like crazy. He just might believe the alluring words of this evil siren. 

“Please, no,” Violet whispered; but then she heard Tenn’s stuttering, small voice and her heart crashed down to meet her feet.

“Where are they?” he asked; clearly having broken cover.

“Let me take you to them,” came Lilly’s silky, manipulative reply.

“You fucking bitch,” Violet hissed into her chest. Her fist was now clenched around the bow arm like a vice. She ached to show herself and take a shot at Lilly. She was so ready. Let the bomb detonate already! 

“I can’t,” Tenn was protesting.

Good boy Tenn, thought Violet. 

“I just want them back. Please!”

“You’ll be happier where they are,” soothed Lilly.

“Don’t listen to her, Tenn, you know she’s lying!” cried Clementine pleadingly. “She stole your sisters! She took them away from you, from their home!”

There was another moment of terrible silence. Violet was perched on bent knees, ready. So ready. Adrenaline coursed through her. The bomb had to go off any minute now, surely, she thought; and then, with an incredible booming echo, the bomb did just that.

Violet heard the thumping of bodies hitting the ground; the high, terrified whinny of the horses; the crackling of flames and, as one, she, Louis, Ruby and Aasim stood and took aim. Ruby and Aasim each had a large rock in their hands; ready to hurl and bust some heads; and Violet knew they had plenty more in a pile between them.   
Ruby let fly her rock, as Mitch and Willy, having successfully deployed the bomb, rushed past them all to the tentative safety of the admin building’s stunted little wall. 

Violet hoped that Louis’s last-minute training with the bow might help him to actually hit somebody; but even if he didn’t, his flailing arrows should be enough to hold the bastards at bay at least.

Humanity had to take a backseat now, Violet realised. They couldn’t afford to see the raiders as people; only their oppressors; their enemy; the bastards who wanted to take them away and force them into a fight that wasn’t theirs. It was kill or be killed. 

So she’d aim to kill. 

Violet suddenly realised that she wasn’t scared anymore, not really. The fear had been squashed down or replaced, and all she was focused on now was keeping her aim true.   
Violet took a breath and steadily, she followed the progress of a male raider, who had found himself left out in the open and was running for cover.   
Judging her moment, she released her first arrow. The arrow sliced harmlessly through air as the raider just managed to duck into safety behind an upturned picnic table.   
Violet cursed; her eyes instantly searching out a new target, even as she sightlessly notched a fresh arrow.

She was momentarily distracted by a flash of movement on her left and fractionally turned her head to see Mitch running forward towards Tenn, who lay sprawled on the ground in the centre of the yard.   
Lilly sprang up out of seemingly nowhere and smashed a hand into Mitch’s throat. Seeing a chance to bring Lilly down, Violet twisted her drawn bow towards them, and only then did she see the fountains of blood gushing from Mitch’s neck. She gasped; almost dropping her bow; and watched in rising horror as Mitch slumped backwards to the ground and Lilly leapt upon him; like a jaguar to a kill; savagely crushing her knife through Mitch’s eye. 

Violet was vaguely aware of Willy crying out, as she felt a swell of bile storm up her throat and she coughed, almost gagging. She felt herself begin to tremble.

“Kill who you have to! Take the rest!” Lilly ordered.

Shots fired and a bullet slammed into the stone of the admin building. Violet instinctively dropped to her jellied knees, remembering suddenly where she was. She looked to the others, whose faces were all the same ashen shade she was sure hers was. Willy was visibly shaking in Aasim’s arms. 

“Now! Go back!” They heard Clementine call over the mayhem.

“Go on,” she croaked at Louis. The words wobbled and shook from her throat. “You and the others get into the admin building. I’ve got your back.”

Violet didn’t wait for a reply, but peeped up from behind the wall just long enough to blind-fire an arrow. Distracting the raiders with arrow fire was her job for their planned fighting-retreat into the admin building. She just had to pray to the bow Gods that one of her randomly fired shafts might just hit one of the fuckers.

She saw Clementine arrive by the admin doors and ran, crouched, towards her.

Clementine was standing her ground and loosing arrows, so Violet took the opportunity to rush into the building behind her. Clementine immediately followed and Tenn slammed the doors shut as soon as she had.

Clementine, Aasim, Willy and AJ all ran quickly to the top of the first flight of stairs; ready to spring the brick trap; while Violet, Louis and the others rushed down the corridors of the building; instructed to lose themselves in its winding hallways and many rooms, until it came time to creep back out and flank the raiders who had, like so many stupid mice, followed the cheese right through the front doors of the admin building without thinking to look back.

A plan concocted by a bunch of kids was somehow sort of working. 

Quietly, Violet opened a door into an old office and secreted herself within its darkness.   
She knelt, but kept her bow up and ready just in case. Violet was alone; the others having scattered and gone off to hide. She felt elated and incredibly sick all at once. 

If only it wasn’t for that fucking sniper – and fucking Lilly, things would be going perfectly. 

Forcibly, Violet stopped herself thinking of Omar, who she could only hope was well hidden and staying silent back out in the yard; but she wasn’t quite fast enough to shut her mind off from Mitch. He’d be okay lying outside of course. He was already permanently silent.

Violet clenched her jaw.

They could all grieve when this was done.

Waiting; poised; in the darkness and the quiet, Violet could almost believe that the raiders hadn’t really attacked their school; that Mitch hadn’t just been stabbed in the eye in front of her.   
In that friendly darkness, the reality could be that the kids were all just playing an elaborate game of hide and seek; and here she was with a great fucking hiding place. No one would find her there. And Mitch had just pretended to die because he had been found; that could just be the rules of the game, right?

The cracked sob that escaped Violet’s lips was so sudden that she didn’t have time to prepare for it. She quickly snapped her mouth shut. Rogue tears fell silently and glistened silver against her cheeks.

One moment of weakness, she thought. That’s all you get.

Wiping at her face and determinedly composing herself, Violet stealthily crept forward towards the door. Her five minutes of hiding were up. It hopefully had been enough time to allow Clementine and the others to spring the traps; killing a few raiders in the process if they were lucky.   
The plan now was to get back to the stairs; crushing any raiders remaining there between the kids who had hidden and Clementine’s group; and then quietly sneaking back to the yard to drop a surprise attack on anyone left out there. 

Offence was the best defence after all, right? 

Violet blew out a long, shaky breath and twisted the door handle with an unsteady hand. 

It was time to fight again.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Violet was met with a stairway that was ominously devoid of anything or anyone, besides, that is, a pervading, whirling smoke that stung her eyes and made her cough dangerously loudly; and the body of a male raider; crushed under a bag of rocks. His head was snapped round to the right; the dead eyes obscenely open and left to forever stare at the wall. Tendrils of smoke curled their way around his corpse, as if attempting to offer comfort.   
Violet looked at the dead man, surprised and a little shocked to see him just laying there; despite that having been exactly what the kids had wanted.   
A raider was dead; the brick trap had worked; but Violet could hear the crackle of flame coming from upstairs and the sound brought a fear that coiled itself around inside of her stomach like wet, slimy eels. 

Something had gone seriously wrong.

There was no expected re-grouped force here – and no Clementine. 

Violet blinked up towards the top of the stairwell, but she couldn’t see anything through the grey denseness of the smoke. She needed to leave; her throat was beginning to itch and her head was spinning; she needed to breathe.  
Please, no one be up there, she prayed and then quietly made her way back outside, staying low.   
She wasn’t instantly sprayed with bullets; things were looking up. Violet took a couple of deep, restoring breaths of the beautiful night air and looked about her. 

She had descended into utter chaos. 

The fire that had been used to bust open the main gates had spread, and now large patches of grass and weeds that poked up from among the dirt and stone of the courtyard were aflame.   
Raiders were running about all over the place; the dreadful quiet of the crackling stairway had been destroyed by shouting and noise and confusion. 

Violet knew she had to move; despite how scared and alone she felt; she was a sitting duck kneeling there. She had to keep moving and fighting. No matter what, she had to keep going until this was all over.

Violet quickly scanned the area, trying to take stock and desperately form a plan. It was as if an icy claw had grasped her heart as she saw Aasim. He had a raider at each arm, and was being half forced-walked, half dragged towards the one remaining prison cart.   
The cart was being jostled backwards and forwards as the horse strapped to it reared and whinnied in terror as flames licked about its hoofs. 

Violet quickly calculated, and knew she wouldn’t get a clean shot at Aasim’s kidnappers; not through all this pandemonium; and so took off purposefully at a run to intercept them instead.

She’d run up behind them and whack the raiders holding Aasim with her bow, or stab them with an arrow, whatever; she just needed to save Aasim. 

No one was getting fucking kidnapped if she could help it.

Violet didn’t see the thing that slammed into her; she just felt the sudden pain in her stomach that doubled her over and sent her stumbling backwards. Desperately, Violet fought to keep her feet and take a breath. She was winded; grasping for air. Her eyes bulged and she realised, with a flash of deeper panic, that her bow wasn’t in her hand anymore.   
Footsteps had drawn near. Violet was finally able to suck in a wheezing lungful of air and looked up to see a female raider bearing down on her. The woman was tall, broad-shouldered and carried a rifle lengthways in both hands. 

Quick as a flash, the weapon was thrust out towards Violet, but Violet was ready this time and lunged for it, managing to halt its progress and stop the blow connecting. 

Surprised shock registered on the raider’s face as she unexpectedly found herself engaged in a battle to keep possession of her rifle. The two women were mere inches apart; both clinging to the weapon. Violet could see sweat break out on the woman’s dark skin. They eyed each other, chests heaving. 

Violet felt her adversary try to wrench the rifle away, but she held on grimly. She knew if the raider managed to snatch the weapon back then it would be all over for her. Violet would be taken prisoner or shot dead on the spot for fighting back – either way, she held on.

Violet vainly twisted and pulled at the gun, but the raider woman was strong and Violet’s attempts to seize the weapon only served in turning the pair in a circle, so that Violet was facing back towards the admin building.

Her heart stopped. 

For a moment her fingers went perilously slack against the metal of the rifle shaft. Clementine was kneeling on the ground by the building - with Lilly standing over her, gun to Clementine’s forehead.

Despite her quickly forming fatigue; despite her arms burning with strain; with one elephantine effort, Violet viciously thrust the gun towards her opponent’s chest and snapped it back again in a desperate bid to rip the weapon free.   
The raider though, was much stronger than Violet, and reacted by suddenly pulling the gun back towards herself and very almost wrenching it from Violet’s aching hands instead.   
Violet let out a cry of desperate frustration. She just wanted the woman to get out of her way! She needed to help Clementine!

As Violet watched, frozen in helplessness; she spotted someone running, full-pelt, towards Lilly. 

It was Louis.

Silently, Violet urged him on. Go on Louis, get that bitch. Save Clementine!   
She saw Louis slam into Lilly from the side; saw him and Lilly tumble; but then the wretched rifle woman was in her face again, blocking Violet’s view.   
Violet cried out in rage.

“Would you just fuck off already?!” she screamed into the raider’s face. All fear was gone in the need to save her friends. 

The raider eyed her angrily. “If you just gave up, this could all be so much easier for you!”

The two of them continued to wrestle for control. Violet had no idea how long they’d been doing this. It felt like days.   
The pressure against her hands increased, and exhausted limbs, though they tried to protest and fight back, just couldn’t, and Violet felt herself being inexorably forced backwards, one stumbling step at a time, to where she knew the prison cart stood waiting for her.   
Vaguely, she was aware of gunshots, but couldn’t tell where they had come from. There was noise and rushing and shouting all around them, as Violet and the raider continued their macabre dance.   
Violet’s arms were leaden with pain and her breaths were punching out of her lungs in short gasps. She knew that there couldn’t be much more of this. The raider would best her any moment now. Violet could only pray that Clementine and Louis were okay. 

Then suddenly, the weight of the raider was gone and Violet was left with the rifle in her hands. She stared down at it in total shock; and then noticed the woman kneeling on the ground before her. An arrow shaft was sticking out of her right shoulder blade. 

Taking her chance, Violet fled back towards the admin building. To her sheer relief, she saw Clementine there holding her bow and realised that it must have been her who’d shot the raider. Violet couldn’t see Louis though. Shouldn’t he be with Clementine? And where was Aasim?   
In all the confusion with the raider, she’d lost sight of him. She turned. The raiders were retreating back to the cart – and Louis was there amongst them, being forced to the cage. 

Violet’s stomach lurched. The raider behind Louis slammed his gun butt into Louis’s skull and her friend fell forward into the waiting mouth of the cage opening.

“No,” Violet uttered and made to rush towards them, but remembered suddenly that she didn’t have her bow, only the arrows that remained in the quiver slung over her shoulder, and the raider’s rifle. 

Violet hadn’t trained in guns, but still, she gingerly held the thing up; bracing the end against her shoulder and staring down the sight. It was a sniper rifle and made for hitting things at long distances, she knew that much.

Taking a steadying breath, Violet glared at all the raiders jostling about by the cart. She saw Louis’s unconscious body being lifted into the cage and, with a punch of dread, realised that Omar and Aasim were already in there.

“Shit,” she hissed.

Her hands tightened angrily around the rifle. The raiders were all moving too much and they were all clustered around the cart and its precious cargo. She couldn’t risk hitting her friends.   
Violet lowered the gun and ran forward again, thinking that she could at least use the rifle to smack some raiders with. Maybe she could get them away from the cart long enough to open it and rescue everyone. 

Putting on a desperate burst of speed, Violet gave a cry of anguish as she saw the cart move off; the horse tugging it through the gates and all the raiders following.

“No, no, no, no,” she muttered, continuing to race forwards. She could catch them up. It was going to be okay.

Violet was only ten paces or so from the gates, when she saw Clementine rush in from the side and then draw up sharply as a huge whoosh of flame suddenly filled the gateway.

Violet skidded to a stop, breathing heavily. The heat was intense. She saw Lilly on the other side of the wall of fire, turn and run after her group.

Violet’s mind seemed to stutter for a moment. She couldn’t quite comprehend what had just happened. 

They’d lost people. 

Louis, Aasim, Omar…were gone. 

A vile mixture of adrenaline, frustration and hopelessness overwhelmed her and it was all Violet could do not to crash down onto her buckling knees.

“Clem!”

It was AJ.

Violet looked over to see several walkers groaning their way through the ruined gates. They shuffled right through the fire and were left burning as they entered the school yard. Completely unfazed by the flames engulfing their rotted bodies, the walkers continued to take shambling step after shambling step forwards. 

Clementine had her bow out and was scoring effortless head shots that made the walkers crumble as if their legs had been kicked out from under them; but there seemed to be a never-ending stream of the fucking things. As fast as Clementine was taking them out, a new walker appeared; shuffling across the threshold. 

Tenn, Willy and Ruby had reappeared and were smashing walker skulls with whatever they could lay their hands on.

Violet noticed a lone walker break off from the line of its dying comrades and turn towards her. Violet still gripped the rifle and purposefully stepped forwards to meet the thing.

The walker moaned hungrily and grasped at her. In response, Violet swung the rifle up high and brought it crashing down into the walker’s head. She heard a sickening crack and felt the skull give way.   
When Violet brought the rifle back up for another swing, the end of it came away bloody and she caught the shiny pink of brain as the creature continued to limp forward. 

Anger fuelled her next strike. She felt herself suddenly so mad with this walker and the shitty world it represented; at the fucking raiders for just taking the people she cared about and not giving a damn about it; and especially, at herself for letting her friends get taken.  
The rifle smashed down onto exposed brain and bit deep. The walker fell at her feet and, snarling; she whipped the rifle up and sent it smashing down over and over into the creature’s head.   
Splashes of dark blood flew up from the walker’s ruined brain, speckling Violet’s hands and the long sleeves of her top; but Violet didn’t stop until its head was an indistinct mess of pulp on the ground.

She stood there, taking in great gulps of air, and staring down at the mass of bloody bits that had once been a person’s face. That face had had expressions once; that face may have smiled and grimaced; it may have shown fear. Its lips may have turned up and its eyes shine when around someone it loved. But now it was nothing; broken and splattered in the dirt.   
A wave of nausea suddenly overwhelmed Violet. Barely aware of her surroundings, she felt the gun fall from her hands. She put her palms over her eyes for a moment and breathed into the darkness.   
When Violet took her hands away, she saw that all the walkers had been dealt with. Across the yard, she caught sight of Clementine, AJ and Rosie. They were standing over Tenn, who was sitting with his arms around his knees on the ground, rocking slightly. 

Violet swallowed back bile and threatening tears, and walked towards the group.   
Arrow-strewn walker corpses lay everywhere and isolated spots of fire continued to burn.

Tenn stood as Violet drew near. She noticed Clementine and Tenn exchange some words she couldn’t hear, and then Clementine turned to her.

“They took them,” Violet cried in a voice that trembled. “Aasim, and Omar, and… goddammit, Louis.”   
Violet turned back towards the broken gates and felt everything inside of her crack. Why hadn’t she saved them? Why hadn’t her stupid, useless ass saved them? Violet took in a harsh, shuddering breath and felt Clementine’s hand grip her shoulder.

“I know,” said Clementine. “But we’re going after them.”

Her words were strong and resolute. They stiffened Violet’s crumbling resolve just a little.

“If we knew where to look, I’d smash down their walls myself.” Violet emphasised her fierce words by smacking a fist into her palm. Her eyes dropped as she realised just how useless those bold words were. What was she, Super Violet, now? She was going to bash down the raiders walls with a single punch, was she? Feeling suddenly stupid, she continued glumly, “…But we don’t.”

“Well, we’ve got someone who does,” Clementine told her, turning and walking over to the middle of the yard.

Violet followed, along with the other kids. She was intrigued what Clementine meant, and cautiously hopeful. They had a captive? 

Clementine stopped in front of a man who was slumped on the ground. His hands were behind him, tied around a metal post. His head was down and he was lolling forward against his ties. They appeared to be the only things stopping him from collapsing forward and face-planting the ground. 

Violet grimaced, noticing that his right leg was bent at a sickeningly unnatural angle. He wasn’t looking too healthy.

As they approached and their captive raised his head with a wince of pain, Violet realised that it was the man from before; the one who’d robbed them at the station.  
Abel; that had been his name. 

Violet had been scared of him that day; with his shotgun and hard expression; the sneer of contempt he’d thrown at them, as he’d taken pleasure in his power and their helplessness.   
But now, here he was; looking up at them all with real fear in his strange, different-coloured eyes. The tables had turned. He was the helpless one now; like a trapped animal; and though Violet knew she should feel real rage against this terrible man who’d had a hand in her friends capture, she was so tired of violence right then, and could only muster a weary kind of pity for the broken man at her feet instead.

Violet heard crying and turned her head to see Willy kneeling next to Mitch’s body. 

Mitch’s body. 

His dead, dead body. 

The thought made Violet’s head swim. She took a step forward to steady herself. No one seemed to notice.

Clementine was crouching by Abel. “You and me are going to have a little talk, Abel,” she spat.

He smiled jeeringly at her, and then laughed, letting his head fall back against the metal pipe.  
“Sure, sure, I like to chat,” he mumbled.

Clementine shook her head at him and stood.

“We’ll get what we need from him, don’t worry. We’ll get the others back,” she told the group. “Let’s move him to the cellar. I can ‘chat’ with him down there.”

“I can help,” Ruby offered grimly, with sad, downturned eyes.

“I’ll help too,” muttered AJ, though his tone was completely different from Ruby’s; it was like a vicious little growl that promised retribution. He glared down at Abel with a furious intensity that unnerved Violet.

Marlon’s dead, sightless eyes stared back at Violet through her memory, and she wondered, with a cold shudder, what exactly AJ wouldn’t do to the man who’d help to steal his friends and cause so much anguish.

Clementine nodded at the two of them and passed AJ her knife. Violet assumed it was to cut Abel free so that they could move him. He’d have to be dragged down to the cellar with that leg. It would be agony for him, Violet knew. No less than he deserved, is probably what she should be thinking; but it just made her feel sorry for him, despite everything. 

“Don’t worry,” Clementine uttered quietly to her. “I’ll get the information we need.”  
Violet nodded. She didn’t know how Clementine was remaining so calm. Maybe under all that determined coolness, Clementine was falling apart just like she was.

Clementine made to turn away, but Violet grasped her hand to stop her. 

“Clem?” Violet said. They were both looking down at their hands meshed together.

“Yeah?” 

“I’m um…I’m really glad you’re okay. I saw you pinned by Lilly, but, I couldn’t get to you…and then Lou…” Violet stopped abruptly, not sure she could talk about Louis without breaking down. She felt Clementine squeeze her hand.

“Yeah, I know. He jumped her.” Clementine smiled. “He was like an action hero.”

Violet laughed – a slightly teary, sad kind of laugh. “Yeah.”

“When he’s home, we can let him know just how cool he was,” Clementine assured her, though there was something different in her voice now – a kind of sadness, maybe even regret.   
Their gripped hands fell away. 

“What…what should I do, to help?” Violet asked haltingly. She suddenly felt like an unsure child; in awe of Clementine’s capability; and needing direction.

“We really need to block the front gates, however we can for tonight. The walkers need moving and the fires putting out -”

“Fuck, the admin building!” Violet cursed, suddenly remembering. Her eyes slid to the grand old building. It didn’t appear to be burning down in flames. 

“Yeah, Abel threw a fire bottle on the upper floor,” Clementine explained. 

Violet scowled. “Fucker.” She glanced down to the bound Abel, who had his head down and appeared oblivious to their conversation. He seemed oblivious to everything except his own misery. “I’ll get some water up there.” 

“Be careful,” said Clementine quickly. “It was only one bottle. Hopefully the fire didn’t spread far…but be careful anyway.” 

Their eyes stayed stuck on each other and Violet smiled. “Thanks.” 

One side of Clementine’s mouth tugged up slightly, but almost instantly it fell, and she said, “There’s…Mitch too…”

As one, they both turned their heads to Willy, now openly weeping on Mitch’s chest. They turned back to look at each other sadly.

“Try and convince everyone to get some rest too. We could all do with it. …I’ll be back…after.”

Violet nodded. She was so thankful that she wouldn’t have to be the one to sort out Abel. She truthfully didn’t know if she could do what might be required.   
Feeling suddenly ashamed at allowing Clementine to do all the tough jobs, Violet made herself say, “If you need help, you know, with Abel…”

But, to Violet’s shameful relief, Clementine shook her head. “It’s okay. You sort the stuff out out here; I’ll deal with Abel.”

Violet squeezed her hand, trying so hard to signify how grateful she was for Clementine’s steady resolve. 

“Come see me after?” Violet asked tentatively. “Um, to tell me, you know, what happens.”

“I will,” replied Clementine meaningfully. 

She graced Violet with a tiny half-smile and then turned to help AJ and Ruby with Abel. With a grunt of effort from the three and an awful cry of pain from Abel, their captive was heaved up to his feet and then half-carried, half-dragged towards the cellar.

Violet noticed Rosie watching the proceedings, a low growl in her throat as she eyed Abel. The little pitbull looked ready to chomp Abel’s head clean off. She followed alongside the four humans as they made their way along the yard.

Tenn was staring at the ground, his lips twitching like he was trying not to cry. Violet walked to him and put an arm around his shoulders. She felt Tenn lean into her. It was comforting, standing there, pressed together in their ruined home.

“It’ll be okay, Tenn,” Violet told him.

He said nothing, so she kept going.

“We’ll get the information we need and we’ll get them back.”

Still nothing.

“You were brave tonight, you know? We all were.”

“Was I?” asked Tenn in a quavering voice. “I don’t think I was.”

“Tenn,” Violet began.

“I think I might have messed everything up.” Tenn squeaked out the words, as if something was stuffed in his windpipe.  
He was staring resolutely forward, blinking rapidly.

“Hey,” Violet soothed. “You know who’s to blame for all this, Tenn. Don’t put that on yourself. …Okay?”

She felt Tenn begin to shake and looked down to see that his face had crumpled into a mass of tears. She pulled him tighter into her and felt her own eyes begin to water.  
The two of them stood like that for many moments; locked in unified pain.

Violet turned her head. Willy was still kneeling by Mitch.

Tenn’s tears had dissolved into hiccupped little gasps against her ribcage. She smoothed a hand over his hair. Tenn looked up at her, perhaps out of shock; it was rare to receive such tender physical affection from the defensive Violet.  
“Do you think Tenn, that you could grab a blanket or sheet or something? …For Mitch?”

Tenn stared at her with sad red eyes and nodded, pulling away a little. He looked to where Mitch lay and then back to her. He nodded again quickly. “Yeah, yeah, I can do that. If you think that would help. I just…I wanna help.” The words came out in a choked jumble.

“It would, I think.”

“O-Okay. Yeah. I’ll go get one.” He wiped at his face and walked; a little unsteadily; back towards the dormitories. Violet followed his progress, as he weaved between the carnage of the yard, and sighed a deep, soul-shaking sigh.

Mitch and Willy were in the middle of the yard, no more than twenty paces from where Violet stood. She needed to go over to them, to be with Willy; but the idea of seeing Mitch that way made her heart shudder.   
She’d only just seen Marlon get shot in the head; she’d only just seen Brody’s smashed-up, infected face; she’d seen her friends get carted away to fuck-knows-where. When was too much, too much?

This question stayed with Violet as she turned and forced herself to walk stiffly over to where Mitch lay. She kept her head down, not wanting to see; but as she drew closer, her eyes landed on him almost of their own accord. 

The sight made her recoil.

From the shoulders down Mitch was perfect; he could have easily just been lying on the ground if you could kid yourself about his limp limbs and deathly pale skin; but from the neck up, all fragile notions of life were savagely ripped away.

Mitch’s neck had a deep, jagged, bloody hole punched into it; like something with intent and sharp, little claws had ripped its way through the skin and burrowed down. 

The place where Mitch’s left eye had once been was now a gory horror show. The eyeball had been torn apart and smashed down into the socket by the force of Lilly’s knife, along with all the other tiny little bits that made up the eye. All those parts that made sight possible were now all compacted together; smearing and squashing into one another in one gelatinous, slimy mess.

Violet felt her stomach clench. Bile was rising quickly to the back of her throat. She forced her eyes away and onto Willy. He was sitting on his knees, sobbing and bent so far over that his head almost touched Mitch’s still chest. He hadn’t noticed Violet approach.

“Hey, Willy,” she greeted quietly.

Willy continued to cry for a moment and then sat up with a huge sniff. 

“At the start, I was so little,” Willy began, without turning to Violet. His voice was strained and choked with tears. “And Mitch looked after me.”

Violet knew all this of course, but she allowed Willy the time to talk.

“I know you guys thought he was a dick sometimes, and I know sometimes, maybe he was a bit of a dick; but he was always nice to me. …And now he’s gone.”

It was true. She and Mitch had got along okay. She’d respected his fighting spirit, and that he’d never back down from a tough situation; which admittedly, had got him into trouble sometimes.   
Violet liked too that he had mainly always said what he’d meant. You could trust the truth from Mitch.   
Perhaps it was that bluntness that had rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way. He’d definitely made a few enemies and Willy was right, he had kind of been a dick to some people; but he’d always looked out for the little kids. Beneath all that tough exterior and hard attitude, there’d been a caring soul who’d tried to make the little ones lives better; before and after everything went to shit.

Violet was jolted out from her reverie by Willy’s sudden shouts.

“Stabbed in the eye by some asshole who never even knew his name!”

The pain in his furious words was palpable.

Violet squeezed her eyes shut, forcing away tears she couldn’t believe she was still capable of producing, and put a solid hand on Willy’s shoulder.

“Willy, Clem’s going to get the information for us, she’s going to find out where those bastards are, and I promise you we’ll hit them back fucking hard. They’re going to regret ever coming near us.”

She saw Willy’s expression change; his jaw clench. “If Mitch were here, he wouldn’t cry,” he muttered. “He’d find a way to get our friends back. And he’d bash Lilly’s brains out with a rock.”

Violet didn’t contradict him. Let Willy have his anger. Anger would keep him focused on something besides the pain. 

She thought about AJ then; how he’d glared at Abel with such open hostility, such – menace. And now here was Willy, wanting to bash someone’s skull in. 

Did this fucking fucked up world need to turn everyone to violence, even innocent kids? 

Was innocence even a thing that could exist in the world anymore?

The thought made Violet’s heart all the icier.

Running feet could be heard and Violet looked up to see Tenn returning with the promised blanket. She felt Willy go tense. He stood just as Tenn drew up next to them. Tenn held up the blanket.

“I brought -”

“Get way from him!” Willy suddenly cried, and, to Violet’s horror, pushed Tenn hard in the chest. Tenn went sprawling backwards, landing in a pile on the ground with the blanket half covering him.  
“You’re the reason he’s dead!” Willy spat viciously. 

“Willy!” chided Violet, shocked at his sudden behavioural shift.

“Well, it’s true! We had a plan and that idiot messed it up!”

“Cut that shit out, right now,” Violet warned. She didn’t want to upset Willy, but now was not the time to turn on each other. “None of this is Tenn’s fault. You know who’s really to blame.”

Willy stared at her with huge eyes that screamed betrayal. “I can’t believe you’re defending him! This…this is bullshit!”

Tenn had risen unsteadily to his feet. With Willy’s scornful words aimed directly at him, he turned and ran off across the yard.

“Tenn!” Violet called after him, but it was futile. She watched his departure and then sighed another great sigh.  
“Nice Willy,” she spat, unable to stop herself.

Willy’s big, bluish-green eyes were pools of tears. He suddenly seemed so small again. The screaming banshee of moments before was banished. He crossed his arms tightly around himself. “Well, it was true,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry, Willy. I didn’t mean to be a bitch. It’s just…remember who the real enemy is. We can’t fall apart right now.”

She grabbed the sheet from the ground that Tenn had left and shook it out. “Look, he wanted to help. He brought this…for Mitch. He deserves some dignity.”

Willy said nothing, but looked, Violet thought, perhaps a little less angry. His features had softened and he watched reverently, as Violet carefully laid the sheet across Mitch’s prone body. She tried very hard not to look at his ruined face again.

Ruby appeared from the cellar and steadily made her way over to them. Violet noted the way Ruby was moving; as if every step was an exhausting trial to be endured. Violet understood; despite her various body aches; despite even, her heartache at the evenings events; above all else, Violet just felt a bone-deep weariness. 

Ruby pulled up next to them, and looked down at the covered Mitch sadly.

“Why?” She uttered.

Nobody had an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it for now. Please feel more than free to leave a review. I really appreciate all constructive feedback :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: Hello everybody!! Oh my goodness, this chapter has been a long time coming eh? I am so so sorry for how long this has taken me to get out.  
> I changed a lot of stuff in it and I didn’t want to release it of course, until I was really happy with it. So yes, there we go – but here it is, finally.  
> Now, this is the last chapter I’m planning on doing. I know I could write way more, but when I originally started writing this, I had only ever planned on writing up to this point. I just wanted to focus on this specific time in the lives of these characters. …That’s not to say I’d never continue it or write a second part at some point, but at the moment, this is the final chapter for Constellation Daydreams.  
> I just want to thank everybody who’s given their time to read and comment on my little story. Your comments have been amazing and so helpful – I’ve really appreciated them all so much. And through this story I’ve got to chat with some really cool people. So thank you everybody – and without further ado, here’s the last chapter. I hope you enjoy.

Constellation Daydreams 

Chapter Five 

After many gruelling hours of heaving, digging and clearing, Violet was back in her room, staring out the window. 

From her position she could partly make out the main yard. She and the others had managed to smother the multiple small fires that had broken out around the front gates, so, aside from the pale light projected by the steadily retreating moon, only the blackness of the night and the vague outline of her own reflection in the windowpane looked back at her. 

Violet very rarely got the opportunity to look at herself these days. There were mirrors on the walls of the old bathrooms, but what with the toilets and sinks being nothing but useless, dry bowls nowadays, they were hardly ever ventured into by anyone. So the person looking back at her from the glass of her bedroom window was a bit of a surprise. 

She looked awful. 

When exactly had her face become so sharp and thin? Her hair so lank and dull? Violet shook her head at herself in distaste. 

This is what Clementine had felt the urge to kiss? Why? 

Violet altered her gaze. She didn’t want to see anymore. 

The only light in Violet’s room came from the flickering glow of the candle she’d lit. It was so quiet; the night so silent and still; peaceful even. It was jarring, after all the noise and terror they’d endured only hours before. 

Violet had personally directed the clean up of the school and was satisfied with what they’d managed to get done. 

The once-more-deceased bodies of the walkers had been moved outside the school gates, along with the lone human body of the raider whose skull had been caved-in by the bag of rocks. Violet had asked Ruby to help her lift him. She’d somehow managed to swallow down the acid bile that had hit the back of her throat upon seeing the dead man again, and had selflessly volunteered to carry his arms if Ruby got the feet. As she’d gripped the man under his armpits, Violet had had to remind herself that this is what she’d wanted; this is what they’d all wanted – dead raiders. It had been kill or be killed after all; the raiders would have done the same to them, so fuck em’. Logically, Violet knew all that, and yet, all she’d seen from the cold, dead eyes within the oozing, bloodied head of the raider had been naked accusation pointed straight at her. She’d tried to avoid his unnerving gaze, but her eyes had kept straying to his anyway, as if she had no will over their movements.  
The man had been stocky and well-built in life, which meant in death, he was nothing but a tremendous dead-weight. They’d struggled mightily with him. It had been a painfully long, stumbling walk from the admin building to outside the walls, and both girls had been thoroughly relieved to set down their load and be done with it. 

It had been impossible however, to avoid the raider’s dented head smearing against her as they’d half-carried, half-dragged him, and Violet had been left with a sizeable blood stain soaking into her top.  
She glanced down at it and winced. A morbid memento. 

The main gates had been re-secured by more boards of wood being hammered across them, and the partly exploded prison cart that had been abandoned by the raiders had been dragged in front of them as a secondary precaution. It wasn’t a permanent solution, but it would do for the night. 

The admin building in the end had been surprisingly okay. Luckily, the fire from the bottle hadn’t spread far, and apart from a few blackened floorboards and charred railings on the landing the building remained unblemished and appeared structurally sound. 

Violet had managed to clean herself up a little too; meaning that she’d splashed some cold water on her face and cleaned the walker blood from her hands. Aside from its newly-stained front, the sleeves of her top were still spattered though and every other part of her felt grimy.  
Her clothes radiated the unpalatable mixed odour of sweat and smoke and had adopted an undertone of something richer that Violet feared might be the reek of the walker corpses. 

Violet wrinkled her nose. “Great. So if Clementine does decide to come see me, I’ll be greeting her smelling like a charnel house. …Fucking fantastic,” she muttered to herself. 

She couldn’t have been more appealing if she’d tried.

What Violet needed was a good, thorough wash; but she’d need to boil pots of water or submerge herself in the river for such an event, and there was just no time for that sort of thing right then. 

If Violet longed for anything that had been the norm before the walkers - that was, beside from the obvious ‘the living dead not reawakening to eat you thing’ - it was hot, indoor showers.  
As she stared out into the quiet darkness, Violet could almost feel the water pounding into her from the shower head, bouncing against her naked skin like heavy rain on a window ledge, cleansing her of all her accumulated filth.  
She let out a wistful little sigh. To feel that clean and fresh again would be absolute heaven.  
If she were lucky, her fanciful shower might even have the power to wash away all the internal crap too; all the shame and guilt that was chewing through her heart that evening. 

Her lips twisted into something grim at the thought. 

The hard truth was her friends had been taken and she hadn’t stopped it. That wasn’t something you could just easily wash away in a fictitious shower and feel better about. 

Violet sighed again. 

She felt drained to her very soul. After all the fighting, fear and clearing, Violet was dead on her feet. 

Standing there, she felt like every single muscle she possessed was screaming. Even her bones seemed to ache. 

Violet needed sleep, she knew. But while her body was a flagging mess, her mind was a buzzing torrent of anxiety. Before any rest could be attempted, Violet needed to know what Clementine had found out from Abel. 

Violet had clocked Clementine quietly arrive at the impromptu burial and funeral for poor Mitch that they'd just held. She'd stood at the back and Violet hadn't had a chance to speak with her. When the sad little funeral was over, she couldn't find Clementine.

Violet jiggled her foot about. Clementine said that she’d come see her – so where the hell was she? 

Violet just hoped that everybody else was doing a better job at sleeping than she was. She'd seen Willy to bed and tried to comfort him as best she could. She'd shut his door quietly behind her when she’d left, and then stood and listened as he had begun to cry softly to himself.  
Her heart constricted, thinking of it.  
Poor Willy; he was still so young; he didn't deserve to grow up with that image of Mitch's last moments forever tattooed in his mind.  
She'd left him alone to cry. Violet understood; she'd endured countless nights with her face pressed into her pillow; a person needed space to release their grief.

Violet had checked in on Tenn too, and had found him lying still in his bed. Whether he'd actually been asleep or not, she hadn’t been able to tell; but had backed quietly out of the room anyway; silently wishing him sweet dreams in an imaginary world far removed from their own current crappy one.

That was one of the few escapes in their lives – dreams. Though even those weren't always a given. Violet had suffered with regular nightmares this past year, since Minnie and Sophie had been taken. To her surprise, it had only been recently that the nightmares had dimmed. She thought she might know why.

As if through her thoughts Violet had somehow summoned her, there was a light tap on her door.

Violet turned. "Yeah?" she asked softly.

The door opened a crack and Clementine's face peeked around it. "Is it okay to come in?"

All at once, amazingly, Violet's heart felt somehow lighter. "Yeah," she answered quickly. "Yeah, come in."

Clementine did, quietly closing the door behind her. She stepped into the room and then stopped suddenly. “Your shirt,” she breathed, eyes flashing with concern. She quickly walked over to where Violet stood by the window. “Are you alright?” 

Violet glanced down at her top. The blood stain the dead raider had left had grown darker with drying, looking almost brown in colour now. It was going to take some serious scrubbing to get that out, even more so to get the raider’s dead stare out of her mind. Some brain bleach perhaps might be required for that.  
“Oh, no, yes, I mean, it’s okay,” she stammered, looking back to Clementine. “It’s not mine.”

Clementine looked for a moment like she might say more, but then her mouth twisted and she shook her head lightly as if rejecting the idea of questioning Violet further. Instead, she just said, “I’m really glad you’re okay.” 

Violet’s lips quirked up into a tentative little smile, the first in what felt like forever. She felt oddly guilty wearing it, given what had happened that evening. “You too, Clem. I mean, I’m glad too.” She felt herself blush. 

A reciprocal smile flittered onto Clementine’s own face momentarily, before quickly dropping away; the effort of keeping it there seemingly too much. "AJ's asleep," she told Violet. 

Violet nodded. "Good. I uh, I checked on Willy and Tenn. ....They're…well, in bed at least."

"I guess they're dealing with tonight as best they can," Clementine said sadly. She closed her eyes briefly; scrunching them tight together as if attempting to hold something in. She really did look as if she could sleep for a year.

"Yeah," Violet agreed softly, and then, hesitancy slipping into her voice, she asked, “How did it go…with Abel? She was both desperate and deeply afraid to know the answer to that question.

“I got what we needed to know,” Clementine told her without preamble. The words made Violet’s pulse quicken.

“Oh, thank God.”

“The raiders have a boat some miles from here,” Clementine expanded. “That’s where they’re holding our friends.”

Violet nodded. “So, we find the boat and get everybody back.”

“That’s it,” Clementine agreed.

“Great. Good plan. Good.”

“We can scout the boat out tomorrow – make a plan.”

Violet nodded again. She bit her lip. “It’ll be okay, right, Clem? Everyone will be fine?”

Clementine hesitantly placed a reassuring hand on Violet’s shoulder. “The raiders need them alive, Vi. They didn’t sacrifice their men tonight for nothing. They’ll be okay.” 

Violet hugged her arms to her chest. "Yeah, yeah," she mumbled, trying to convince herself. "Yeah, they will be." Unclasping her arms, she turned back to the window. "I'm just so worried, Clem. Who knows what the hell’s happening to them right now." Closing her eyes for a moment, Violet was helpless to stop the tears that rushed in from seemingly nowhere and pooled beneath her lids. She blinked her eyes back open and stared vacantly out into the night again. "I was so close Clem, to getting to them. I saw Aasim get taken, and then Lou...and I tried, but I couldn't reach them in time. ...I uh, I just keep thinking, what if I'd been better, faster - what then? Would our friends…still be here?" Her voice cracked faintly on the last word.

"Vi," Clementine began softly. "Don't do that to yourself. You know who’s to blame.” 

Violet let out a choked sigh. "I just want them back."

"We'll get them back," Clementine told her. Her words were determined, hard, and Violet believed them.

Her resolve steadied, and she turned back to face Clementine, trying to ignore the fact that her eyes were probably hideously red. "Okay. We’re getting them back." It was said as a statement. She blew at a strand of hair that was making a daring escape across the front of her face, and remembered something. “What are we doing with Abel, while he’s staying here, I mean?” 

He was a good bargaining chip at least, Violet thought. They and the raiders were on equal footing there; the raiders had hostages and they had a hostage. The raiders would want their man back, wouldn’t they? There could potentially be a trade, right?  
The look on Clementine’s face at her question however, sharply halted Violet’s inner musings.

Clementine’s expression had grown troubled. She looked at Violet and shook her head. “I’m sorry, but Abel’s dead.”

The admission made Violet’s blood run cold. “You killed him?” 

Violet hadn’t meant for the question to sound like an accusation, but as the words snapped, unretractable, into existence, that’s exactly what it sounded like.

Clementine looked at her sharply. Violet thought she might shout at her, but as she watched, Clementine’s snap-reaction softened until her expression was just sad.

“He was all messed up – dying,” she explained quickly. “We both fell from the balcony during the fight and I’d landed on him. I think something must have busted inside of him.” 

“You fell from the balcony?” Violet asked, startled, her eyes widening at the unexpected admission. 

Clementine nodded, but offered no further explanation. “He was coughing up all this blood,” she went on miserably. “A hell of a lot of blood. And he offered me a deal; he’d give me all the information we needed, if I killed him and didn’t let him turn. He was…really scared.”

Violet’s eyebrows drew together in shocked concern. She put a comforting hand on Clementine’s arm. “I’m sorry that you were forced into something like.”

Clementine made a dismissive noise, as if trying to minimize the severity of the whole ordeal, but it wasn’t in the least bit convincing. “You think it would be easy,” she muttered. “I’ve…had to kill before.”

Violet knew this. Clementine had already admitted to having to kill her friend all those years back; but still, the confession made Violet’s spine go rigid with cold. She saw Clementine’s gaze cloud over for just an instant; growing dark, perhaps remembering, before her focus snapped back and she continued in a lower voice than before, “But this was so…”

The sentence fluttered out into the air, unfinished. Violet thought about having to kill another person. She’d killed countless walkers, and knew that she could kill if she or her friends were threatened - but a man tied up, helpless in a chair; Violet wasn’t sure that she could have done it. 

“Even after all he’d done, I didn’t want to kill him.” 

“It was mercy,” Violet told her firmly. 

“Yeah,” said Clementine shortly. “I wish now though, that AJ hadn’t been there. It was my fault, I shouldn’t have let him.” 

“What do you mean? What happened?” Violet asked. 

Clementine drew in a sighing breath and let it out again in a rush. “I told AJ that he didn’t have to look, you know, with Abel…and AJ told me that he…wanted to.”

Clementine looked at Violet with a slight shake of her head, and Violet could read the troubled question there – what kind of kid wants to watch something like that?

Clementine turned and slowly lowered herself on to the edge of Violet’s bed. 

It was such an unconscious, casual action; as if Clementine was regularly alone in Violet’s room with her and was used to just sitting on her bed; that despite the dark conversation, it made Violet’s heart pound a little faster. 

Gingerly, Violet sat down next to her.

“AJ’s growing up so fast, and he worries me sometimes,” Clementine went on. “The way he looked at Abel tonight…I knew he wanted to kill him – he even told me he wanted ‘first dibs’ on him before the fight.” She sighed. “I’m just…I’m scared that he’s becoming too hard.” 

Clementine looked at Violet with sudden alarm and shook her head, as if rousing herself from a daydream. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to just start talking about this. It’s totally not your problem and we should all be getting some rest. The last thing you need is me here, going on.” 

Clementine made to stand, but Violet gently grasped her arm and kept her sitting. 

“Hey,” she said softly. “It’s okay. You can talk to me.” 

Clementine shot Violet a quick, grateful look, before her eyes fell shyly to hands that sat curled together in her lap. “Thanks.” 

“You know you’ve got nothing to worry about, right?” said Violet, after a moment. “You’ve done an amazing job with AJ. He’s a great kid.”

Clementine let out a strained little laugh. “He is.”

“Yeah, so he’s different from you and me when we were kids, but Clem, that’s cause’ he’s grown up in this fucked-up world. You gotta be at least a bit hard to survive it. You have made him a survivor, Clem.”

Clementine nodded absently. “Sure, I get that, but I still want him to just be a little kid too sometimes, you know? I don’t want him thinking that killing is easy.” She took a breath and turned her gaze up to meet Violet’s. “Killing Abel was…it wasn’t nice, and AJ wanted to watch it. That’s not right. He shouldn’t want to watch something like that.”

“I know,” Violet agreed sadly. “It isn’t right. Shit, AJ should just be an innocent little kid in the regular world, who’s riding bikes and climbing trees…but, you know as well as I do, Clem, that this isn’t that world anymore. He’s grown up around all this fucking violence and death. Abel was a bad guy. I know it’s not right, but I don’t think AJ would want to watch just anyone die. You get the difference? I think he just wanted to see the bad man go away.”

The room was quiet for a moment.

“I guess, maybe,” Clementine reasoned. “He’ll always be my cute little guy, no matter what.” She smiled faintly at that. “I just want him to be that more of the time. What happened down in that cellar tonight really scared me.”

Violet’s expression crinkled with empathy for her friend. Clementine always appeared so tough and together, and now there she was, letting all her secret doubts tumble out into the discreet half-light of Violet’s room. Violet felt honoured that she was the one Clementine was sharing all this with. 

Wanting to offer comfort, she uncertainly stretched out an arm and placed it carefully around Clementine’s shoulders. She almost winced, envisioning Clementine instantly tugging out of the embrace, glaring at Violet in bafflement. But to Violet’s surprise and sheer secret delight, Clementine leant into her without comment. 

Violet’s breath hitched, feeling Clementine’s heartbeat drum against her side. She was very, very aware of how close Clementine’s face suddenly was to hers.

They sat there, quiet for several minutes. 

“Um,” Clementine eventually uttered. “This might be over-sharing now, but...” She stopped, not continuing for a few moments, as if debating with herself whether she should. “I knew this guy once.” Clementine didn’t look at Violet as she said this, but kept her eyes forward, staring at the far wall. “His name was Kenny.”

Violet stayed quiet, allowing Clementine the space to talk.

“We were kidnapped one time, me and him, and a whole group of other people, by this guy called Carver.” 

“Hmm, sounds like the name of a pleasant kind of guy,” Violet commented drily. 

“Oh yeah,” Clementine scoffed. “The best! He brought us to his ‘community.’ It had running water, high walls, vegetable patches…real luxury, you know? And all for the low low cost of our freedom.” 

Clementine spat out the words, as if they tasted bad in her mouth. 

“He put us to work, beat anyone who objected – he even pushed a guy off a roof.” 

Violet grimaced. Clementine’s eyes flickered to hers for a moment. 

“Yeah,” she agreed, seeing Violet’s expression. “He was a total asshole. …I uh, wasn’t the most cooperative of captives, but I guess, lucky for me, Carver liked me despite that. He kept talking at me, saying that we weren’t so different from each other, telling me that he could see my potential. I was eleven then.” Clementine shook her head. “Eleven. And this fucking psychopath is telling me that I could be just like him.” 

Her gaze slid back to the wall. “Eventually we got the better of him. Kenny had shot him and he was on the ground, totally helpless. And then, Kenny grabbed this crowbar.” 

“Shit,” Violet swore. A feeling of revulsion bubbled up in her stomach.

“He told me that I didn’t need to see what was about to happen…but I stayed to watch anyway.”

Violet was careful not to show her shock and remained neutrally silent as Clementine swallowed audibly. 

“I don’t know why I did…maybe it was out of loyalty to Kenny, or who knows, maybe Carver was right and a part of me was just like him…either way, Carver had been happy that I’d stayed to watch the show; he told me that it made me strong. …I can never unsee that now.” 

Clementine let out a breath and closed her eyes for a moment. “I guess I’m telling you this story, because what happened with AJ tonight was almost exactly what happened with me back then. …Carver was fucked up, and I don’t think anything would have stopped him from getting revenge on us if Kenny hadn’t killed him. But there are other ways. Kenny could have just shot him in the head. What he did was wrong – and I regretted staying the moment Kenny took his first swing with that crowbar.” She sighed. “I just hope AJ understands that it was mercy, killing Abel. I don’t want him…enjoying that sort of thing.” 

“Clem, I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Violet began earnestly. “But no matter what that bastard told you back then, you’re nothing like he was. Sure, you’ll defend yourself if you need to and you have to make some hard choices sometimes, like all of us; that’s life now; but that doesn’t make any difference to who you are inside. I’ve seen you Clem, – you’re kind, and thoughtful, and you’re so patient and cute with AJ.” Violet felt herself go hot, realising that she’d actually just used the word ‘cute’ to describe Clementine. “What I’m saying,” she hurried on, “is that you’re a way better person than most of us here. …Way better than me at any rate.” 

“That’s not true,” argued Clementine. 

Violet nodded a little. “Okay. I’m going to accept that, what you said just there. So we’ve established that neither of us are total assholes.” Violet gave Clementine a small, sideways smile. “Go us.”

Clementine’s lips twitched slightly, as if debating to turn upwards or not. They didn’t quite make the journey however, and fell back to a neutral line before there was any danger of a full smile forming. 

“And,” Violet continued. “AJ’s doing fine. You’re doing good with him.”

Clementine bit her lip and stared down at the floor. She sighed again. “Yeah. I just…worry.” 

Violet gave a small shrug, the action made awkward with Clementine’s weight against her. “I’m not exactly an expert here or anything, but I think everybody with kids worries. Comes with the territory.” 

She shot Clementine another tentative little smile, and this time, Clementine returned it.

“I’m really sorry for just talking about all that,” she blurted, reminding Violet of her own words up on the tower-roof earlier that evening. 

“I already said that it’s okay,” Violet assured warmly.

It felt unreal that the kiss they’d shared had happened only hours before. So much awfulness had been and gone since then. The night felt like one of the longest in Violet’s entire life. 

Another long moment passed in silence, and then Clementine slowly sat up. Reluctantly, Violet let her go. A horrid, sinking sensation filled her. 

“Well,” Clementine began tiredly. “I guess I really better go get some sleep now. We’ll need to be up as early as possible tomorrow to find the boat. …Thanks though, Vi, for this. It was really good to talk. Sorry again for telling you my life story.”

Clementine let out a tiny cough of laughter, and then stood up.

“Good night then,” she said, taking a couple of stiff steps towards the door.

Feeling suddenly panicked, Violet shot up from her position on the bed. “Clem, wait!”  
The cry screeched out across the room and Violet grimaced at its shrillness. 

Clementine stopped and turned back, her expression questioning. Violet faltered; now that she had captured Clementine’s attention, she wasn’t entirely sure where to start.

“It’s just…” she began. “It’s just that I need you to know something, and…I won’t let you leave again without telling you.”

Violet’s pulse was booming, her limbs practically reverberating with its beat.

“Okay…” Clementine said, sounding a little anxious.

Violet took in a breath. She suddenly felt fidgety on her feet. “Okay,” she repeated. “So this might be really inappropriate to say right now, but it’s that I…I really like you, Clem.” The words came out in a stumbled rush. She felt the flush crawl quickly up from her neck and fill her cheeks. 

Clementine wasn’t saying anything, so Violet ploughed on before her nerve gave out. 

“Tonight, up on the tower…that meant a lot to me.” She let out a little nervous laugh. “It’s funny, tonight has been so horrible, but because of you, it might somehow also be one of the best nights in my life.” Violet ran her boot along the floorboards self-consciously. “That’s a terrible thing to say. I don’t mean…I just mean that what happened between us on the tower was really good.”

Having finished the somewhat fumbled explanation of her feelings, Violet braved a look at Clementine and waited.

She was relieved to see that a small smile had appeared on Clementine’s face.

“I also liked what happened up on the tower,” admitted Clementine. It was time for her cheeks to glow rosy against the candlelit room. 

An impulsive grin leapt onto Violet’s face. She looked down to her feet, then up at Clementine again. Her body felt like it was buzzing. 

“Oh, okay, good,” Violet stuttered out. “I didn’t know if it was like a one-time thing, cause’ you were scared and maybe thought we were gonna die?”

“I was a little scared,” Clementine confessed, and then, after a beat, “Okay, I might have actually been completely terrified, but only because I wasn’t sure how you were going to react.” 

Violet let out a little, nervous laugh. “You mean it wasn’t totally obvious how I felt about…you, like every time you were within twenty-feet of me?”

Clementine smirked and waved her hand about a little, as she said, “Well, yeah sure, I mean, I had my suspicions.” 

“I was a total lame-ass, and you know it,” Violet joked self-deprecatingly. 

“Yeah well, I was kind of lame too,” Clementine said, joining in on the joke. “And you weren’t lame; you were…cool, and sweet.” 

Seemingly every drop of blood in Violet’s body flooded into her face at that moment and she had to glance down at her feet again. She wasn’t good with compliments, even incredible ones that came from the one person Violet wanted them to come from. 

“What I, uh, my feelings for you, Vi…they’re unexpected.”

Violet nodded a little. “I get that.” 

Clementine licked her lips. “I wasn’t looking for them. You’re the first person I’ve ever, uh, liked, like that.”  
Clementine’s words came out haltingly, as if she was giving voice to the things she was still trying to figure out. 

“Are you…okay with those feelings?” Violet asked, hesitantly, terrified of the answer. 

Clementine looked at her sharply in alarm. She took a step towards Violet. “Yes,” she assured quickly, filling the word with emphasis. “Yeah, I’m okay. God, I’m more than okay.” She knotted her fingers together and then let them drop away. “I think, I’m just…surprised, I guess. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. …Well, obviously. I said that already.” 

“I understand,” Violet said. She crossed her arms, before dropping them instantly and stuffing her hands into her jean pockets instead. “When I…with Minnie – it was a surprise to me too.” 

Their eyes met, almost shyly now. They were both blushing.

“Yeah, I don’t make a habit of just going around kissing girls, you know?” Clementine assured quietly. 

“Sure could have fooled me,” Violet murmured, before she realised that actual words had come out of her mouth. Her eyes instantly widened and she let out a strangled kind of sound. “Oh, God! I can’t believe I just fucking said that. Sorry!” 

Clementine chuckled lightly. “I’m just going to take it as a compliment.” 

“Okay. Good idea,” Violet babbled. She could actually feel the red leeching into her face.

The girls were quiet for a moment. 

“You know,” Clementine began. “My mom would always read to me before bed.”

The comment threw Violet for a moment; seemingly so out-of-place in their current conversation. “Yeah?” she asked, not sure what else she was supposed to say. 

“Yeah.” Clementine smiled. “She’d read me all sorts of stories. I remember there were quite a lot that featured Princesses in castles and dashing white Knights overcoming great perils to rescue them.” 

Violet rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I had those kinds of stories too.” 

Clementine glanced down at her feet. “They were kind of my only point of reference when it came to, you know, romance and stuff. …I mean, I was only little then. Obviously, I wasn’t thinking about anything like that, but, I guess I just kind of always expected things to go that way.” Clementine stopped and made a face. “Did that make sense?” 

Violet eyed her seriously. “Clem, are you telling me that you need me to go out and find a suit of armour and a horse from somewhere?” 

Clementine laughed, an endearing blush creeping back to her face. “I don’t know, I mean, that could be cool.” 

Violet smirked. “Well, if that’s what you want.” She gave a little shrug and continued, “My family were super religious, so I was brought up being taught that anything that wasn’t strictly man woman was some fucking horrendous sin, so yeah…that was all I knew about romance.” She glanced at Clementine. “I uh, obviously got over that.”

“My parents never took me to church,” Clementine answered thoughtfully. 

Violet let out a short, sharp ‘ha.’ “Be grateful – it wasn’t exactly the most free-thinking of places, you know? Or at least that was my experience of it anyway.” 

“It kind of sounds like it was just a load of judgemental crap,” remarked Clementine evenly. 

Violet, surprised by the unexpected comment, laughed. It was a full, real laugh and felt so good against the backdrop of that hellish evening. “Yeah, it kind of was.” 

The two grinned at each other. 

“One day,” said Clementine. “I’d like to hear all about your childhood…if you wanted to tell me, that is.” 

Somewhere deep inside of Violet, something unbuckled; as if the ties she’d secured around her heart to protect it from future hurt were loosening. 

“Sure,” Violet agreed. “I mean if you really wanna hear all about my childhood of bullcrap, then…sure.”  
Violet scratched the back of her neck. “Uh, I think when it comes to who you like, it’s all just whatever, you know? I think it’s like, fluid, or some shit. Like with me, I think it’s just girls all the way. But with you, it might be different. Maybe you’re just attracted to, uh -”

“You?” Clementine asked in almost a whisper. 

Violet found Clementine’s eyes and stared into them; fell into them. “Yeah,” she heard herself answer quietly, though the word sounded very far away. Blood was suddenly pounding in Violet ears.  
They were both blushing madly. 

Violet abruptly moved forward. Gathering courage with each step, she stopped directly in front of Clementine.

“I uh, I also wanted to do something before you left, if you were okay with it.”

“Oh, yeah?” Clementine asked.

Violet was suddenly back at the tower, perched precariously on its window ledge, with two options laid out before her - take the leap and soar into the unknown or retrace her steps and retreat back down to safety.  
Violet steadied her nerve. She wouldn't let this moment pass by again. 

There was no more time for doubt. 

Without another thought Violet lent forward and pressed her lips against Clementine's. 

She felt Clementine stiffen at the contact; felt the dry rigidity of Clementine’s lips against her own; and knew, with a sickening humiliation, that she'd made a terrible mistake - this had not been what Clementine had wanted at all. This was awful, terrible, unthinkable timing. Their friends had been captured; Clementine just had to kill a man; they’d been talking about some very serious shit – what the fuck was she thinking? 

Violet started to pull away; her mind already forming the mortified apology that would come spilling from her mouth as soon as it wasn't pressed against Clementine's; but then, she felt Clementine tilt her head and, far from removing herself, Clementine actually deepened the kiss. 

Violet felt an explosion of exhilaration; her own hot blood roaring in her ears.  
Fingers interwove themselves into hair; hands snaked around the back of heads.  
The girls pressed into each other, becoming one interlocked being. 

All that existed was this moment; was this feeling. The room was gone; the world was gone; the raiders; their troubles were nonexistent for this one exquisite, beautiful moment.

There seemed not to be an inch of space between their bodies, yet somehow, they moved in closer. 

Lips parted slightly to allow deeper exploration. 

This kiss was so different to the quick, tentative peck up on the roof; this was something evolved. This was hungry, frenzied need. 

There was a light moan, but Violet wasn't sure if it had issued from her own throat or Clementine's. She wanted to moan though; she wanted to let Clementine know just how much she was enjoying herself.  
The lower region below Violet's stomach was fizzing like a firework had been let off inside of her.

The air around them felt like it had ignited. Violet was sure that if she opened her eyes she’d find the room ablaze. 

She wanted this to last forever. She wanted Clementine to stay with her all night, just doing exactly this. But finally, they did break away from each other, and when they did, it was with huge twin gulps of air, as if the two girls had burst up onto the surface of the ocean. 

They were breathing heavily, staring at each other, smiling. Violet didn't think she could form words; her mind was lost in a whirlwind of desire. Her heart was thudding in her ears again - how had it gotten there? 

In the end, it was Clementine who spoke first, though her voice sounded a little slurred, like she was drunk. Maybe they were both drunk in a way. 

"So...that was something." 

Violet nodded. "Yeah," she breathed. Anything more syllabic appeared to be beyond her. "Was it...okay?" 

Clementine's smile grew. "Oh yeah." 

Violet flushed and dropped her eyes for a moment. When she looked up, Clementine was right up close to her again, wrapping her in a hug. Violet was momentarily taken aback, before looping her own arms around Clementine. Their chins were on each others shoulders and Violet closed her eyes, savouring the moment. 

"I just needed you to know that," Violet mumbled over Clementine's shoulder. 

"Thanks for letting me know," murmured Clementine. They laughed. It felt like a tonic. "I'd be okay if we did that again sometime...just so you know." 

Violet turned her head, so that her mouth almost touched Clementine's ear. "I think I could manage that. Sure," she said softly. 

They stayed that way for some moments more and then, slowly, reluctantly, pulled apart. 

"Try not to take any risks tomorrow," Violet requested quietly. It was a stupid thing to ask of her. Every day was a risk. But now that they'd found each other and this hope that Violet had nurtured in her heart was actually happening, she was suddenly terrified that it would be ripped away from her.  
Minnie had been stolen from her; Violet didn't know if she could handle it happening again with Clementine. 

Clementine gave a casual shrug of her shoulders. "You know me."  
Violet smirked and prodded Clementine playfully in the arm with her finger. "Yeah, I know you - hence the worry." 

"I guess that means you'll need to come check out the boat tomorrow too then, and keep an eye on me," reasoned Clementine coyly. 

Violet chuckled. The levity she felt was a refreshing change to the norm. Just like up on the roof earlier that night, right now they could just be two girls, in a normal world, joking with each other. "Okay then, deal."

The room fell into silence. Violet hugged herself slightly. She knew what was coming next. 

“So, I uh, I guess I should…” Clementine was making eyes at the door. 

“Yeah,” agreed Violet, with an exhalation of breath. “We should both probably get some sleep. …That would be the sensible thing to do.” 

Except Violet didn’t want to be sensible. She wanted to throw caution to a swift wind and ask Clementine if she might like to stay there with her tonight. But, it seemed Violet had used up all her courage when she initiated the kiss between them, because though she could feel those words ‘stay with me’ sitting somewhere on the back of her tongue, Violet just couldn’t give life to them no matter how much she wanted to; and she really wanted to. Violet didn’t want to be alone that night. 

“Yeah. Sensible’s probably good right now,” Clementine agreed with a smile. 

Despite moments ago being as close as two people could possibly be, there followed a moment that felt strangely awkward, where neither girl knew how to say goodnight. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Clementine finally asked. 

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” 

Nodding, Clementine reached out a hand. Violet followed its progress with her eyes, intrigued; thrilled; until it settled to grip her own. Clementine gave Violet’s hand a little reassuring squeeze and Violet felt her heart flip. 

“Tomorrow, then,” said Clementine quietly. 

Gently, Clementine unlinked her hand and turned to leave. She paused when she reached the door, hand on the handle, and looked back. 

Violet met her eyes, hopes rising along with her heartbeat. Maybe Clementine would stay after all. 

“Good night,” Clementine said simply, and slipped silently out through the door. There was a click as it was pulled closed behind her. The tiny noise sounded like a gunshot in the sudden quiet of the room. 

Violet was left alone with her candle. She blew out a big extended breath. A flurry of emotions were coursing through her. A confusing mix of disappointment, exhilaration and, somewhere in the background of her mind, an odd sense of surrealism too. 

That had all really just happened, right? 

If she hadn’t been experiencing Clementine’s lips on hers but mere moments ago, Violet never would have believed it. 

They’d kissed – again! Two in a row. And man - what a kiss! 

Violet touched her lips with the tips of her fingertips and grinned like a madwoman. Feeling suddenly, unaccustomedly light and careless, she spun around with her arms flung out in a moment of rare, joyous abandon.

The things Clementine had said to her too, surely this would be more than just a couple of kisses between them? Surely this was all leading somewhere?

Violet stopped spinning. Her arms fell and her smile dropped away like water down a drain. She sure hoped that their shared intimacies that night would lead to more, but Violet knew, nothing was ever sure in this fucked-up existence – one moment things were level; okay; you were surviving; and the next your world had gone to hell. 

Something amazing had happened that night, but now it was over and Violet couldn’t help but mourn the quiet moment of passion she and Clementine had snatched from an otherwise horrific night. 

Without Clementine there with her, self-doubts and guilt were quick to attack Violet’s vulnerable mind-space. She thought of her friends again; about what possible terrors they could be experiencing, while she’d been here kissing Clementine. 

Violet flumped down onto the side of her bed. She should have done more. 

Perhaps it was guilt masquerading as thought, or perhaps she was finally starting to lose it, but either way, Louis’s voice was suddenly in her head, clear as day. 

“So, Clem huh? You finally did it! Initiated some kissing. Nice going. Honestly, I’m glad you’re having fun. That’s what’s really important. Don’t worry about us in mortal peril over here; as long as you’re making out with hot girls, that’s all that counts.”

The words were laced with a biting spite that Violet hadn’t often heard from Louis’s actual lips.

“I tried to save you,” Violet muttered desperately into the empty room. “We’re coming for you; just keep holding on.” 

“Yeah, bet we’re not the only ones you’ll be coming for,” internal Louis spat. 

Violet sighed and ran a hand down her face. Having a debate with fake mind-Louis/her conscience wasn’t going to help anyone, particularly not her own sanity. They would go tomorrow and find the boat. They would save everyone. It was going to be okay. 

Violet removed her denim jacket, discarding it on the floor, and lay down on the bed. 

She didn’t take anything else off, not even her boots. She’d learnt along time ago to deal with the discomfort of sleeping fully clothed, if it meant being ready to move at a moments notice.  
Like all the kids at the old boarding school, perhaps like everyone now left in the world, Violet was suspended in a constant state of readiness. 

She stared up at the darkened underside of the bunk above her; ownerless now; but at one point a girl called Samantha had slept there. Samantha had been the quiet type, which had suited Violet perfectly at the time, particularly in the first few weeks of her arrival at the school, when she hadn’t really wanted to talk to anyone much.  
She’d left, Samantha, before the outbreak. Violet hadn’t known why, but one day Samantha was being picked up by, presumably her parents; they’d been a couple of older people at any rate; and driven out of there, and Violet had found herself suddenly a single occupant. 

Her lips curled upwards as she thought about Lou again. He had never respected her need to be alone. He’d been in her face the moment she’d taken her first shaky steps onto the school grounds. 

Lou had arrived at Ericson only a few months before her, but the way he’d talked that first day made it seem like he was King of the school. He’d been a cocky kid alright.

“So, if you wanna know anything, or wanna know anyone, I can help with that,” he’d told her, all enthusiasm and smiles, as was his way. “This school’s alright; most of the kids are pretty cool too. Oh, you gotta watch out for some of the teachers though. I can tell you who you gotta watch. ”

He had been a lot to take in. 

Violet had had no idea how to deal with him and all his exuberance - all she’d known was that the day before she’d watched her Grandma blow her chest out through her back with a hunting rifle and then, the very next day, she’d been abandoned by her parents at Ericson where everyone was a complete stranger. 

Her head had been a mess. 

She’d felt angry, betrayed and horribly scared, although she’d never have admitted that last feeling. 

Needless to say, Violet hadn’t much been in the chit chatting mood. 

“Oh, I’m Louis by the way. Or Lou, some people call me Lou,” he’d told her, after she hadn’t responded to his introduction spiel.  
Violet hadn’t wanted to know Louis’s name, and she certainly hadn’t wanted Louis to know her name. She’d just wanted to go home, or, failing that, slip quietly into her assigned room and have no one talk to her. But Louis hadn’t got the hint, or perhaps, hadn’t wanted to get it, and had just stood in front of her, waiting.  
After a severely awkward amount of silence, Violet had finally relented. 

“Violet,” she’d uttered, almost in a whisper. 

Her eyes had fallen to her little child-sized trainers. They’d been white with a blue flower pattern embossed on them. Her mom had bought them for her as a treat that Violet, even at that tender age, had known she really couldn’t afford. Violet’s eyes had teared up slightly, thinking about her mom, but she’d mastered herself and when she’d returned her gaze to Louis, it had been clear and tear-free. 

“Vi,” he’d said, grinning. “Cool name.” 

Violet hadn’t liked Louis’s instant over-friendly shortening of her name, but she’d blushed softly at his compliment nevertheless. 

Cool name. Violet had never thought of her name as being particularly cool before. 

The next few weeks had been spent with Violet trying her considerable best to avoid all interaction with anyone unless absolutely necessary.

She’d answered if spoken to by a teacher when in lessons; sometimes she even got whatever they’d been asking her right; and she may have begrudgingly grunted a reply to one of her fellow troubled youths if they’d said something to her, but mainly she’d been practically mute. 

After a cursory initial greeting, Violet’s room mate, Samantha, had promptly ignored her, and Violet had felt at the time, that most of the other kids had viewed her as the weird quiet girl – which had all suited Violet just fine. All she had wanted was to be left alone with her internal misery and hopelessness. 

The only lingering obstacle in her attempts at complete self-imposed isolation had been Louis. 

Despite her silence and sneering looks, he had still insisted on talking to her.  
He’d call to her from across rooms and ask her how it was going when she hadn’t been able to avoid bumping into him in the hallways of Ericson. 

Violet hadn’t understood him at all. 

Why would anyone persist with someone who so clearly hadn’t wanted the attention and had given nothing back in return? 

She’d decided at the time, that he’d either been playing games with her or that he’d simply been an oblivious idiot. 

She knew now which option had been true.  
It had been usual to hear Louis long before you actually saw him. He had been, and still was, in fact, apparently stuck on consistent maximum volume; his massive, booming voice never able to resist playing to a crowd. 

He had a laugh that was as over-the-top as his personality, which had really grained against Violet in those early days. It could never be a little chuckle, but always a huge, neck-craned-right-back bellow. 

Everything he did had seemed to Violet to scream ‘look at me!’ 

She had just rolled her eyes at his crazy flamboyancy and avoided him, along with everyone else, as best she could.

The turning point for her and Louis’s relationship had occurred one unassuming warm Saturday afternoon, some weeks after Violet’s arrival to the school.  
Unbeknownst to Violet at the time, it hadn’t been long after that day that the reanimated dead had started to rise and with that event, the names of the days of the week, once so necessary for a society that required time-keeping and planning, would become an obsolete construct. A person had no reason to know when Wednesday was after all, when all they needed to plan was their continued survival. Nevertheless, Violet would always remember that particular Saturday. 

She’d been sitting on the grass in a cosy corner of the grounds, reading a novel she’d borrowed from the school’s library. 

Being the weekend, the kids of Ericson had been allowed to do what they liked, within reason, of course.  
Sometimes, the school had arranged “exciting” trips out to the local town or somewhere equally thrilling. Violet may have secretly mocked the “exotic” destinations those trips had boasted, but the appeal of getting off the school grounds was a temptation few passed up. Violet had seen for herself just how popular those days out were - which meant that she had gone nowhere near them, of course. 

That Saturday however, had not been a trip day, but Violet had still managed to find a quiet spot for herself and her book.  
She’d enjoyed reading; still did. There was something comforting about stepping into someone else’s life and forgetting your own shitty one for a while. 

Violet had had a phone call with her mother that morning; the first since she’d been dumped at Ericson’s. It had consisted mostly of her crying that she wanted to come home and her mother explaining that she didn’t know how to cope with Violet anymore.  
She’d told Violet that with the school’s help and the grace of God, surely Violet would be healed; but until that time, Violet wouldn’t be allowed home. 

Her mother had spoken to her like she’d been some kind of psychotic heathen child; all inky black and messed up inside and in need of holy cleansing – so, needless to say, her book escape had been especially vital that day. 

Violet remembered gripping the pages of that poor book in such furious, tight hands that, looking back, she was sure she’d been in danger of tearing them; something the terrifyingly strict librarian of the school probably wouldn’t have looked too favourably on. 

Violet’s thoughts had swayed sickeningly from the story laid out before her to ones of her parents. She’d felt utterly abandoned in that moment and may have actually started to cry had it not been for the person suddenly plonking themselves down next to her.  
She’d looked over, startled, to find Louis’s twelve-year-old face grinning back at her. 

“Okay to sit here?” He’d asked. 

Violet had shrugged noncommittally, which Louis, for some reason, had taken as a yes. He’d sighed happily and stretched his legs out in front of him, getting himself thoroughly comfortable, whilst Violet had eyed him with an angry frown. 

Louis had been the last person she’d wanted interrupting her despair. 

“You like reading?” 

Another question had elicited nothing but another non-verbal response from Violet. She’d merely glared at him over the rim of her teenage fiction and shrugged again. 

Louis’s forte had been and was still, ignoring or possibly being oblivious to, obvious signs that people wanted him to go away – so of course, this meant that he’d just barrelled on that day, despite Violet’s lack of any participation in the conversation. 

“I don’t really read, unless we’re talking sheet music. That, I like.” 

Violet thought that she must have looked blank, because Louis had elaborated. 

“Sorry – you know, like, piano music?” 

“You play the piano?” Violet had asked, utterly surprising herself as well as Louis.

Violet still didn’t know why she’d chosen to engage with Louis that day, but perhaps it had been because for the first time since they’d met, Louis had actually seemed real to her. There had been no crowd to perform to that day, just her and him talking quietly together. 

“Uh, yeah,” Louis had mumbled, and then, regaining confidence, he’d continued more strongly, “It’s really cool! I love it! …It’s kind of my thing.” 

He’d been smiling broadly pretty much throughout the entire conversation, but Violet remembered his big grin had faltered ever so briefly with the voicing of those words, dropping into something complex that she wouldn’t be able to decipher until months later when the dead were walking and Louis had confessed to her what he’d done to his parents.  
The fault in his fifty-watt smile had only lasted for a brief moment however, before it sprang back to his face as it were strapped on with elastic. 

“They have a piano here actually,” he’d continued. “Thank God!” 

Violet had looked away then. Screw God, she’d thought. God, The All Powerful; apparently powerful enough to “heal” her and her messed-up head. Seriously, screw Him. 

“Are you any good?” It had been an extremely undiplomatic, uneasily direct child’s question. 

“Yeah, I mean, I’m alright,” Louis had answered. “Maybe you could come listen to me play one day, if you wanna, you know? …I asked Marlon, but he said he’d rather listen to a fart.”

This had been said in such a sad, resigned kind of way and was such an unexpected comment that Violet hadn’t been able to help the laughter that had erupted from her. It had been a bark of a laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. The sound of it had been odd to her, coming, as it had been, from a throat completely barren of any positive noises for so long. 

Louis had stared at her for a moment, possibly in shock, before cracking up himself. 

“Yeah, he’s kind of a dick sometimes!” He’d chortled good-humouredly. “You know, I’m really glad you can actually laugh – I thought aliens might have abducted that part of your voice box.” 

Violet had raised her eyebrows. “Yeah well, maybe if you said something actually funny from time to time I might have laughed more.” 

Louis’s eyes had widened and he’d turned the full beam of his grin on her. “Wo ho! Buuuurn!” 

After that day, and before walkers had appeared, everything had got considerably better. Louis had introduced Violet to his friends, Marlon included, and for the first time in a long time, Violet had felt a part of something and actually connected.  
Somehow, against the odds, Louis had become her best friend. 

As the echoes of the past slipped away and Violet found herself back in her room at Ericson, eighteen again, and with the absence of Clementine sore in her heart, Violet knew two solid truths – her friends would be coming home, including her ridiculous, maddening, irreplaceable Louis, and, that she’d risk everything to bring them back. 

“We’re coming guys,” she whispered into the dimness of the room.

Everything would be fine. Louis’s stupid wisecracks and booming laugh would be back torturing her ears again soon enough. 

They’d get them back. There was no other acceptable option. It was all going to work out. 

The thoughts became a mantra in her mind as Violet rolled onto her side and blew out the candle sitting on the chest of drawers next to her bed. 

The sudden darkness was blinding and she closed her eyes against it, squeezing them shut tight. 

Everything would be fine. Everything would be fine. 

…Everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it. Constellation Daydreams completed. I hope you’ve all enjoyed this. It’s been wonderful writing it, and like I said, your feedback has been incredible. If you’d like to leave a comment or any constructive criticism on this final chapter, then please do. It’s all so helpful to me. Otherwise guys, it’s been a pleasure. Take care whoever you are and have a great day!

**Author's Note:**

> And that’s it…for now :)
> 
> Next chapter will be up very soon. If you enjoyed, if you didn’t enjoy – all feedback is super welcome.


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